Confidacation and Communidance
Dear Lucy, I’ve been with my boyfriend for just about a year now and I lost my virginity to him ages ago. Recently, he told me I wasn’t great in bed. I thought everything (sexually) was great. Major confidence drainer; I’ve felt awful since he told me. My only saving grace is that he’s the only guy I’ve had sex with so it’s partially his fault too ;P How do I recover from hearing this? :( I’ve had awful confidence issues all my life, improved dramatically, now I’m back to where I started. :(
Pardon moi? He said WHAT?!
It is way not cool to tell someone they aren’t great in bed, and then just leave it at that. Did he offer anything else? Specifics? Things he wanted that you could try together? If not, then you are left with no way to move forward, and that is his bad. You can’t “recover” from an insensitive comment like this. You can only discuss it fully, and come up with a plan together on how to make your sexy-time improve. And, are you sure you’re entirely satisfied? Maybe you can also bring up some things that would make you happier in bed, as well.
As for your self-confidence, it is a total dick move for this dude to bring you down like that. It is his responsibility as your partner to make you feel good about yourself. If he is not complimentary and confidence-boosting in any part of your relationship, then it is time to end the relationship. Start seeing someone who will make you feel GOOD, emotionally and physically, and who understands that communication is the only way for a healthy relationship to develop.
Everyone has the power to be good in bed. It takes practice, and most importantly, COMMUNICATION.
xoxo,
Lucy
Dear Lucy, I’ve been with my boyfriend for just about a year now and I lost my virginity to him ages ago. Recently, he told me I wasn’t great in bed. I thought everything (sexually) was great. Major confidence drainer; I’ve felt awful since he told me. My only saving grace is that he’s the only guy I’ve had sex with so it’s partially his fault too ;P How do I recover from hearing this? :( I’ve had awful confidence issues all my life, improved dramatically, now I’m back to where I started. :(
Pardon moi? He said WHAT?!
It is way not cool to tell someone they aren’t great in bed, and then just leave it at that. Did he offer anything else? Specifics? Things he wanted that you could try together? If not, then you are left with no way to move forward, and that is his bad. You can’t “recover” from an insensitive comment like this. You can only discuss it fully, and come up with a plan together on how to make your sexy-time improve. And, are you sure you’re entirely satisfied? Maybe you can also bring up some things that would make you happier in bed, as well.
As for your self-confidence, it is a total dick move for this dude to bring you down like that. It is his responsibility as your partner to make you feel good about yourself. If he is not complimentary and confidence-boosting in any part of your relationship, then it is time to end the relationship. Start seeing someone who will make you feel GOOD, emotionally and physically, and who understands that communication is the only way for a healthy relationship to develop.
Everyone has the power to be good in bed. It takes practice, and most importantly, COMMUNICATION.
xoxo,
Lucy
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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com Follow @LucyRockwell
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