Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
Now Stop Worrying and Start Studying, College Girl! Dear Lucy,   I have the perfect relationship. Well I did until we went to college at different ends of the country. We broke up to explore in college. It was really hard at first, its getting easier. But I still completely love him. I have been exploring a little but the only boy I would ever want in my bed is my ex. We were each others firsts. I love him so much, but I am afraid that either I will never get over him and never be able to love anyone else. Or that I will lose him. What should I do? This sounds almost exactly like my own college experience. When I went to school in California, and my first boyfriend, Jeff, went to New York, we decided to tough it out and stay together the first year. This involved many long distance phone cards (I didn’t get a cell phone til sophomore year!), lots of listening to Radiohead in the dark and crying, and the purchase of my first vibrator. I was so in love in Jeff, I couldn’t see myself with anyone else, he was my first! Sound familiar? So what happened? Well, I had another first: my first drunken one night stand. This prompted me to discuss the possibility of Jeff and I “exploring” on our respective campuses. He was into it, and we both messed around with a few people, while still being in love and in regular communication with each other. We officially broke up at the beginning of sophomore year. It was really hard, but it was a really good idea. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult. Why do two people get into a relationship in the first place? Usually because they enjoy spending time with that special someone. So when you don’t actually get to physically be with your someone, what makes you stay together? Are you satisfied with only seeing them a couple times a year? That means that for the majority of the year, you’re lonely, sexually unfulfilled, and sad. And let’s not even get into the communication aspect of it. The amount of silly fights one can get into over instant messenger… oy vey. No, you cannot tell what the other person’s tone of voice is suggesting, because you can’t hear their goddamn voice! But let’s get back to that big question: why stay in a long distance relationship? Probably because you’re scared. You’re scared that no one will love you again like that first love. Then you’ll never feel comfortable enough to have sex with someone new. So here’s the good news: you totally totally will. I guarantee it! Of course, I don’t know you, dear reader, but I do know the feelings you’re having because I’ve been there. Jeff still holds a special little corner of my heart, but I am a completely different person than my 18-year-old self, and the thought of dating Jeff at this point is laughable. I think it was a wise move to break up with your bf. It’s totally OK to be in love with your ex for a good while, and to still explore with other boys (and girls! It’s college!). The heartache will start to ease as you find your place in your new community, and you just may find someone to replace that loneliness, too. Xoxo, Lucy

Now Stop Worrying and Start Studying, College Girl!

Dear Lucy,

 

I have the perfect relationship. Well I did until we went to college at different ends of the country. We broke up to explore in college. It was really hard at first, its getting easier. But I still completely love him. I have been exploring a little but the only boy I would ever want in my bed is my ex. We were each others firsts. I love him so much, but I am afraid that either I will never get over him and never be able to love anyone else. Or that I will lose him. What should I do?

This sounds almost exactly like my own college experience. When I went to school in California, and my first boyfriend, Jeff, went to New York, we decided to tough it out and stay together the first year. This involved many long distance phone cards (I didn’t get a cell phone til sophomore year!), lots of listening to Radiohead in the dark and crying, and the purchase of my first vibrator. I was so in love in Jeff, I couldn’t see myself with anyone else, he was my first! Sound familiar?

So what happened? Well, I had another first: my first drunken one night stand. This prompted me to discuss the possibility of Jeff and I “exploring” on our respective campuses. He was into it, and we both messed around with a few people, while still being in love and in regular communication with each other. We officially broke up at the beginning of sophomore year. It was really hard, but it was a really good idea.

Long distance relationships are extremely difficult. Why do two people get into a relationship in the first place? Usually because they enjoy spending time with that special someone. So when you don’t actually get to physically be with your someone, what makes you stay together? Are you satisfied with only seeing them a couple times a year? That means that for the majority of the year, you’re lonely, sexually unfulfilled, and sad. And let’s not even get into the communication aspect of it. The amount of silly fights one can get into over instant messenger… oy vey. No, you cannot tell what the other person’s tone of voice is suggesting, because you can’t hear their goddamn voice!

But let’s get back to that big question: why stay in a long distance relationship? Probably because you’re scared. You’re scared that no one will love you again like that first love. Then you’ll never feel comfortable enough to have sex with someone new. So here’s the good news: you totally totally will. I guarantee it!

Of course, I don’t know you, dear reader, but I do know the feelings you’re having because I’ve been there. Jeff still holds a special little corner of my heart, but I am a completely different person than my 18-year-old self, and the thought of dating Jeff at this point is laughable. I think it was a wise move to break up with your bf. It’s totally OK to be in love with your ex for a good while, and to still explore with other boys (and girls! It’s college!). The heartache will start to ease as you find your place in your new community, and you just may find someone to replace that loneliness, too.

Xoxo,

Lucy

30 November 18
sexloverelationshiplove advicecollegeexplore
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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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