Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
Zodiac Sex Positions Review- Installment 2 Ladies and gentlemen, time to switch on the blacklight, turn up the Hendrix, and make some more astrological whoopee. ARIES (March 20-April 19)- “Fearless”What is going on here? I guess it’s the Guy’s turn to fuck a dead person. He’s got a good hold on her and seems to be going for it “fearlessly” indeed. She, on the other hand, does not seem fearless. She seems like she’s trying to escape, what other purpose could those jazz hands have? Well, my partner in the real life zodiac sex positions trial was an Aries, and he insisted we try this position. So, we went forth fearlessly, and discovered it’s actually pretty fun. The girl’s hands, however, work much better placed on the floor, or her knees, or the wall, or the bed. Jazz hands simply will not do, unless you’re practicing for a musical.TAURUS (April 19-May 20)- “Creative”It’s springtime, and things are getting crazy! We see here that Poster Couple took the bull by the horns (ha, Taurus joke) and got really “creative.” Upside-down 69 is, in fact, nearly impossible. Unless the guy is a football player and the girl a petite acrobat, I don’t really see why you’d need to keep this position in your arsenal. Even if Guy does succeed in flipping Girl upside-down like that, how long could you keep it up? Certainly not long enough for either party to have an orgasm, what with the worry that someone could get seriously injured at any moment. Forget you, Taurus.GEMINI (May 20-June 21)- “Superior”Ok, we can all now admit that Doggie-style is our favorite position. Come on, you know it’s true! When “making love” is just too mushy for you, honey, get yourself down on your knees and take it from behind. We found the penetration is deeper like this, the Guy can get a good hold on the Girl’s booty, the Girl can bite the pillow.  Poster Couple agrees, look at how into it they are! Perhaps this position is named thusly because the Guy is dominating the Girl, making him in the “superior” place. But she looks like she’s lovin it; I know I did. Truly the most “superior” of sex positions.

Zodiac Sex Positions Review- Installment 2

Ladies and gentlemen, time to switch on the blacklight, turn up the Hendrix, and make some more astrological whoopee.

ARIES (March 20-April 19)- “Fearless”
What is going on here? I guess it’s the Guy’s turn to fuck a dead person. He’s got a good hold on her and seems to be going for it “fearlessly” indeed. She, on the other hand, does not seem fearless. She seems like she’s trying to escape, what other purpose could those jazz hands have? Well, my partner in the real life zodiac sex positions trial was an Aries, and he insisted we try this position. So, we went forth fearlessly, and discovered it’s actually pretty fun. The girl’s hands, however, work much better placed on the floor, or her knees, or the wall, or the bed. Jazz hands simply will not do, unless you’re practicing for a musical.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)- “Creative”
It’s springtime, and things are getting crazy! We see here that Poster Couple took the bull by the horns (ha, Taurus joke) and got really “creative.” Upside-down 69 is, in fact, nearly impossible. Unless the guy is a football player and the girl a petite acrobat, I don’t really see why you’d need to keep this position in your arsenal. Even if Guy does succeed in flipping Girl upside-down like that, how long could you keep it up? Certainly not long enough for either party to have an orgasm, what with the worry that someone could get seriously injured at any moment. Forget you, Taurus.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)- “Superior”
Ok, we can all now admit that Doggie-style is our favorite position. Come on, you know it’s true! When “making love” is just too mushy for you, honey, get yourself down on your knees and take it from behind. We found the penetration is deeper like this, the Guy can get a good hold on the Girl’s booty, the Girl can bite the pillow.  Poster Couple agrees, look at how into it they are! Perhaps this position is named thusly because the Guy is dominating the Girl, making him in the “superior” place. But she looks like she’s lovin it; I know I did. Truly the most “superior” of sex positions.

27 November 4
sexsex advicesex tipszodiacastrologyariestaurusgemini
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  1. gettingdowninchitown posted this

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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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