Hiccups and Hookups

There are few things I’ve done of which I am slightly ashamed. Throwing up from drinking is one of these things. I pride myself on not getting so trashed that I throw up, I feel like I should be done with that stage in my life! I’m not a dumb college freshman, I’m a real-ass grown up. Yet, since my college freshman days I have been trying to go a whole year without puking. I was so close. Then I failed, yet again.

It was the staff Holiday Party, and I have seriously not been to a party this out of control in ages! There were keg stands, drinking games, ugly sweaters, the works. I’ve known this one guy since I was a kid, and suddenly I had to help carry him to the couch after he passed out. Later an accountant gave him a lap dance, and he blearily woke up and started making out with her. Crazy.

Somehow I started giggling, which resulted in hiccups. Long term, never-seeming-to-go-away hiccups. I tried drinking water upside-down, to no avail. Then Kevin came up to me, cute Kevin who only works a couple days a week, but I’ve had a crush on him none the less. He held my ears out to the side, and I swallowed the rest of my beer while smiling goofily and simultaneously being melted by his blue, blue eyes. My hiccups were cured!

I awarded Kevin’s kindness by going home with him. Yeah, I guess there’s two things I’m trying not to do: throwing up and going home drunk with guys from parties. But there I was doing the latter. We bundled up and snuck sheepishly past my boss, then stumbled and giggled all the way back to his place. We stopped for the occasional street corner kiss. It was very sweet.

Unfortunately, shameful thing #1 happened shortly after arriving at his place. Luckily, I puked in the bathroom, and I’m not sure he even knew about it. I cleaned myself up and got in bed. We had lovely sex as the sun came up on a chill December morning. He’s super sexy, and smart. Sigh.

I had a wicked hangover a few hours later. I got home somehow and had a pretty horrible day after that. I sent Kevin a text a few days later, to a curt, seemingly uninterested response. I was like “whatevs!” I mean, the guy’s cute, but we do work together and I didn’t exactly give him a great first impression. But today, weeks later… He was at work. Ran into him as I was leaving for lunch. I was gonna go grocery shopping, but he asked what I was up to for the lunch hour.

We ended up sharing a plate of pierogi in a quiet Polish place with steamy windows. I stole a few gazes at his sparkly blues. We didn’t really reference The Night, but hey. At least now I know he doesn’t begrudge me the losing it in his bathroom. And we’ll see what happens now…

5 January 4