Whole-Body Healer

I never thought I would sleep with a sex worker. I support sex workers of various types, and I admire the guts it must take to be physically intimate with someone you don’t know, and that, most likely, is not attractive. Sure, the money’s great. But, though I can’t say I’ve never considered it, I could never get past the risk.

But, it happened: I slept with a sex worker, although I did not know it at the time. Toward the amiable end of my five-year open relationship with my greatest love thus far, Will, we were living in a remote cabin in the woods. We were the caretakers of a pristine piece of wilderness, and it was an interesting exercise in learning how to be around just one other human most of the time. When visitors came to our campground, we were excited to have someone (anyone!) new to talk to. Most visitors were cool folks, into the outdoors, bringing us treats and rolling us joints.

Once, Will was on a run to town for the afternoon when three girls showed up. They were all cute, in their twenties like me; a teacher, a barista, and a whole-body healer. We hit it off right away, talking and hanging out. I invited them up to hang at the cabin that evening. Will had returned with whiskey and groceries, so I baked cookies for our guests and we all got tipsy. At some point, one of the girls, Max, let it slip that she and her boyfriend had an open relationship. Will and I glanced at each other with raised eyebrows, then admitted that we did as well. Let’s just say that from that moment, it was ON.

Max’s friends were ready to wander back to their tents, and seemed concerned that she should join them. Will offered to give her a massage (Not just a ploy; this is actually Will’s profession. Not that most of our threesomes didn’t start out with a massage…) She assured them that she wanted to stay awhile, and then Max, Will and I climbed into our bed. Will’s talented hands got things started, and it wasn’t long before everyone’s hands were everywhere.

I loved Max’s bluntness about sexual preferences and rules, a practice I use as well. She said that her relationship with her boyfriend had “opened” pretty recently, and that they’d decided not to have oral sex with other partners for the time being. She also bluntly asked about STDs, and I told her about having HPV, to which she replied, “Who doesn’t?” (In reality, something like 85% of people have some strain of HPV. I’d been struggling with telling partners about it, so her flip declaration was reassuring to me…) We all talked about what we liked to do in bed, and things got underway.

One of the best threesomes ever! Pure fun, no drama, no shyness, no worrying about preserving friendships (as we were strangers from different cities). She had a dominating demeanor in bed, as does Will. I am the opposite, so it was super fun to me to get all that attention. Afterwards, we were all lying in bed, and Max smiled, saying that she was trying to remember everything about her experience so she could tell her boyfriend when she got home. Then she said, “So do you guys want to know what I really do for a job?”

We did.

“I jerk people off for money.”

Turns out that “whole-body healing” actually meant that Max worked at a “temple,” which was actually more of a massage parlor. Max, and the other healers, would give naked massages to their clients, complete with a happy ending. The business was technically a “temple,” and the $150 and hour was a “donation” to the religion. The clients were lonely people, big, old or unattractive. They were grateful for the attentions of Max and her coworkers (Max’s boyfriend worked there too), and tipped lavishly.

Will and I were surprised, of course, but we thought it was great. Who knew? We meet a sexy girl in the middle of nowhere, and it turns out to be our first experience with someone who gets paid for sex. Except that she saw us as her vacation, and it didn’t cost anybody a dime.

25 January 1