So, after the must-wear-pants-in-bed incident, I hadn’t seen Austin in about a month. I decided it was time to end things. It was time for the “Let’s be friends” talk. Then I realized something shocking: I actually want to be friends!
Having made the sometimes wrong decision to sleep with several of my guyfriends, and a few of my girlfriends, I have come to believe that one can never assume that after sleeping with a friend, things will stay the way they’ve always been. Unfortunately, it is to the contrary. No matter how close the friendship, no matter how platonic, no matter how much the sex is just for fun, the friendship will always change. Sometimes it is subtle, and the bond that was already established can overcome any weirdness created once sex is added into the equation. Sometimes it just adds to your love for each other, or develops into a great romantic relationship further down the road. But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t supremely fucked up some great friendships by sleeping with my friends.
With Austin, however, it is the opposite. We were mere acquaintances when we started hooking up. I didn’t get to know him until after we’d had sex a few times. Then I got to know that he’s pretty hilarious, clever and witty, charismatic, quirky, smart, creative. But really not good in bed. And for the sake of this blog, and of course my sanity, I couldn’t continue dating a guy who I didn’t want to have sex with.
I decided to break the news through text messaging. This is a total jerk move on my part. Maybe I’m just a scared baby using the technological age to my advantage so I didn’t have to have a difficult conversation. Who wants to have that conversation?? Ugh, I hate breaking up with people. I feel so guilty. So I added another layer of guilt by justifying my newest text break-up, thinking “well, we haven’t talked in a month, it would be weird to call now…” Instead, I typed up a friendly little bomb-drop:
“Hey, haven’t talked to you in a while. I was thinking I’d like to hang out, but in a friendly way, not a datey way. Do you agree?”
His response was great! What a relief:
“Yeah, that’s cool. Hey, I know you have a show Saturday which I wanted to check out…”
I felt totally alright about the whole thing. Saturday rolled around, and sure enough Austin showed up to where my band was playing. Then… things got a little confusing. He was looking cute, and he winked at me when he came in. I was on stage at the moment, and blushed a bit through my guitar solo.
Later, he told me I looked hot in the skirt I was wearing (Silver vinyl. How could you go wrong?). And he stuck around the party after his friends left, stayed til the bitter end. I was starting to worry about the texts. Had he understood my message? Did he expect to go home with me? Wait… do I want him to go home with me? Luckily, he said good night and left on his own, but not before giving me about 5 kisses goodbye.
We’ll see where this new “friendship” with Austin will lead…
Notes
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Life. Love. Lust.
I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com Follow @LucyRockwell
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