Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
It’s Alright to Cry… For a Little While Dear Lucy, My girlfriend left me. I’m still horribly in love with her, and I’m terrified I ALWAYS will be. So the past week I’ve gone into a total slut spiral, sleeping with girls left and right to try and crush my feelings for my ex. The attention and sex is a good distraction, but on the nights I’m alone I still lie in bed crying. Because I don’t want meaningless sex, I want sex with love. But I already love someone. So I’m separating my sex and my love and just….. I don’t know. I’m a mess. I can’t keep doing this. :( Oooohhhh K. Calm down, buddy. Clearly, you are right about one thing: You can’t keep doing this. One night stands and “meaningless” sex provide a distraction from feeling heartbroken, it’s true. Sometimes a person really just needs to go out and bang, or to “sow their wild oats” for a while. And that can be great, as long as you’re taking precautions, and you’re actually in the right state of mind for a little period of slutitude. But for you, as you already seem to recognize, the moment the action’s over, you’re back to feeling terrible. Probably even worse than before. A couple things to consider: while the sex with random girls may not have meaning for you, these girls (whoever they are) might not feel the same way. Perhaps it’s some girl you pick up in a bar, or your buddy from work, or a friend’s cousin. But she may be wondering if you’re the one, while you’re wondering how many shots you need before your sorrows are drowning and you can take off you pants. Also, I just have to mention the risk factor. Every person you sleep with is another potential risk for sexual transmitted disease, or an unplanned pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, you may know that already (hopefully you do), but it had to be said. The risks may not be worth the couple of hours of pleasure, especially when you are already in a fragile emotional state. In any case, you say that you don’t want meaningless sex. So the first step here is to stop doing it. Someday in the future, you may meet a potential longer term partner, and your relationship may start out as a wild, sexy, “meaningless” encounter. But if you’re trying to replace your ex-girlfriend through such trysts, I would take a different route for the time being. You are currently still love-sick for the girl who left you, and you’ll feel that way for a while. But you WILL fall in love again. Not right away, it takes time and that is really hard to accept. For now, keep your dick away from other girls, and get back in touch with your porn collection. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship, think about things you may want to change for future ones, and then put yourself back together again for whoever your next meaningful lover will be. xoxo,Lucy

It’s Alright to Cry… For a Little While

Dear Lucy,

My girlfriend left me. I’m still horribly in love with her, and I’m terrified I ALWAYS will be. So the past week I’ve gone into a total slut spiral, sleeping with girls left and right to try and crush my feelings for my ex. The attention and sex is a good distraction, but on the nights I’m alone I still lie in bed crying. Because I don’t want meaningless sex, I want sex with love. But I already love someone. So I’m separating my sex and my love and just….. I don’t know. I’m a mess. I can’t keep doing this. :(

Oooohhhh K. Calm down, buddy. Clearly, you are right about one thing: You can’t keep doing this.

One night stands and “meaningless” sex provide a distraction from feeling heartbroken, it’s true. Sometimes a person really just needs to go out and bang, or to “sow their wild oats” for a while. And that can be great, as long as you’re taking precautions, and you’re actually in the right state of mind for a little period of slutitude. But for you, as you already seem to recognize, the moment the action’s over, you’re back to feeling terrible. Probably even worse than before.

A couple things to consider: while the sex with random girls may not have meaning for you, these girls (whoever they are) might not feel the same way. Perhaps it’s some girl you pick up in a bar, or your buddy from work, or a friend’s cousin. But she may be wondering if you’re the one, while you’re wondering how many shots you need before your sorrows are drowning and you can take off you pants.

Also, I just have to mention the risk factor. Every person you sleep with is another potential risk for sexual transmitted disease, or an unplanned pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, you may know that already (hopefully you do), but it had to be said. The risks may not be worth the couple of hours of pleasure, especially when you are already in a fragile emotional state.

In any case, you say that you don’t want meaningless sex. So the first step here is to stop doing it. Someday in the future, you may meet a potential longer term partner, and your relationship may start out as a wild, sexy, “meaningless” encounter. But if you’re trying to replace your ex-girlfriend through such trysts, I would take a different route for the time being. You are currently still love-sick for the girl who left you, and you’ll feel that way for a while. But you WILL fall in love again. Not right away, it takes time and that is really hard to accept.

For now, keep your dick away from other girls, and get back in touch with your porn collection. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship, think about things you may want to change for future ones, and then put yourself back together again for whoever your next meaningful lover will be.

xoxo,
Lucy

28 February 10
sexsex advicelovecrying.
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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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