Valentine’s Day for the Young and Broke

Being single on Valentine’s Day this year is not stressing me too much. My band has 2 gigs this weekend, and I’m just concentrating on the music, and not on the fact that I will most likely be sleeping alone. I’m not one to get too into the V-Day hype: if I’m single, I’m not gonna moan and groan about it, or lock myself in the dark with Ben & Jerry’s, or get trashed at some singles party and have a one-night-stand with a lonely stranger.

If I’m not single, sure I’ll do something sweet with my sweetie on Feb 14^th. Dinner, dressing up, good sex. But no pressure! It doesn’t have to be the best sex ever, or the most romantic dinner, the roses don’t have to be red. Sure, V-Day is “commercialized” and “created by card companies,” but love is not. Enjoy and celebrate love in your own way (ha, put that in a sappy card). Just don’t get all worked up about it.

I had a few very sweet and simple Valentine’s Days when I was young and broke and dating Will. The first year, I was living in Santa Cruz and he was 90 miles away, in Berkeley. We only got to see each other on weekends, and V-Day weekend it was my turn to travel to him. We had just recently exchanged those Three Little Words a few weeks before. He said it first. Drunk. After a party that included a moment where Will tried to take off his pants on the dance floor during the song “Mr. Big Stuff.” I carried him to bed and tucked him in, and he mumbled, “Lucy, I have to say something…”

“No!” I cried, guessing what was coming.

“Lucy. I love you… Kind of.”

What could I say? Would he even remember this in the morning? “I love you kind of, too, Will.”

So, flash forward to a couple weeks later: V-Day weekend in Berkeley. When I got to Will’s, he unceremoniously handed me a box of chocolates. At this point in my youth I was still a little V-Day crazy, and thought this was disappointingly unromantic. But I bit my tongue, and Will took me on a walk. We walked to the Bulb, a landfill-turned-park that juts out into the Bay. This place has been home to many homeless, and a secret party spot for young people. Yuppies walk their dogs out there, and urban artists create giant sculptures out of the rebar and concrete slabs sticking out of the ground. It’s one of my favorite places in the Bay Area, and since then I’ve often wandered on this little piece of land, standing under trees adorned with found objects hanging from their branches, and tossing rocks into the water.

Will took me out to the end of the Bulb, and led me up a spiral staircase created from pieces of cement sidewalk. We were standing atop a structure called “Bum’s Castle,” and the view of San Francisco was spectacular. Will wrapped his arms around me, and we watched the sunset. I was delighted. Then he whispered to me, “Hey. Look down at the shape of the roof.”

I looked down. The roof of the Castle was the shape of a heart.

Will said, “I’ve been planning this for a Valentine’s surprise. I love you.”

This time he didn’t add “kind of.”

P.S. Then we had sex.

13 February 3