Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
Moving Day!So, I mentioned that perhaps something significant was going on in my life, and here it is: I’m moving in with my boyfriend. Yeah, it’s kind of a big deal, you might say.Lance and I have been dating for about 7 months, and that might seem a bit soon to be taking this serious step. In fact, I’ll bet that a year ago I would’ve advised just about any couple in the same situation that it was too soon to move in together after only 7 months of dating. But, my relationship with Lance has never been ordinary; we knew we were in love from the moment we met, and we knew we wanted to live together at about month number 2. Just had to wait for our leases to be up on our current apartments, and here we go!Moving in with your significant other is, of course, cause for celebration. It also brings up worries, though. I think there are things you’ll really never know about each other until you’re actually living together. Even if you already spend just about every night in the same bed, there will still be surprises when you’re sharing the bed and the rest of the apartment. A few worries one might have about the Big Move (and possible solutions/compromises):1. Little weird habitsYou may think you really know the guy/gal, but everyone’s got some quirky behaviors about their home routine. The first thing that comes to my mind is a dude leaving the toilet seat up. Cliche, yes, but ridiculously annoying for a lady taking a pee in the night. I think Lance is already considerate about this possible annoyance, but who knows what else is in store for me to discover! He’s already expressed to me his concern about my habit of not screwing caps onto bottles and jars all the way. And I’d feel terrible if he dumped a cup of salt into something he was cooking because of my carelessness, so I’m trying to be more conscious of screwing caps onto the condiments. 2. House maintenanceOK, number one problem with co-habitating with any other humans. Goddamn, deciding who should be doing the dishes just never gets easier. I’m quite picky about keeping my kitchen clean, and I cannot begin preparing a meal if the counter’s got crumbs on it and the dishes are piled up. Then again, I loathe mopping and don’t ever think about dusting surfaces. I think Lance and I may be at the same slobbishness level; at least I hope so. I do think it is easier to talk about chores with your bf/gf than with platonic roommates. And by talk, I mean snap at them when you’re grumpy and have to wash a goddamn glass to drink some goddamn water cause nobody ran the dishwasher.3. Paying for stuffI learned my lesson from a past relationship, and I am now much more careful about sharing money with my boyfriend. We intend to keep separate bank accounts for the time being (who knows if that’ll ever change). Most of the time, Lance and I just switch off playing for stuff we’re doing together, like groceries, meals out, and stuff for the new apartment. If one of us pays a significant chunk more for something, we pay each other back eventually. So far, so good. Then again, we make about the same amount of money, so I think we have it easier than some couples who might get resentful of one another. As for bills, we’ll each take charge of certain recurring expenses (gas, electric, netflix, internet…) and work out who owes whom every month. At least that’s the plan.4. Upsetting keepsakesI’m not talking about drawings from grade school; that’s cute stuff. I’m more worried about finding things from exes. I mean, both Lance and I were with many other people before we met, and that’s fine. Actually, that’s great. I’m really glad we had prior life and love experience, because if we hadn’t I don’t think we’d be so sure of settling down together. But, it’s still a bit jarring to find some sweet token of affection from someone Lance used to love. I’ve stumbled upon a few already in his apartment, and I’m sure there will be more. I, myself, have a box under the bed with photos, letters, and journals that I’m sure Lance would not want to see. I never felt like I could get rid of that stuff, even though I don’t ever look through it. Never wanted to go through some boyfriend-photo burning ceremony either, as I’m on good terms with most of my exes. So I guess the memory box will just remain where it is for the rest of time, and maybe Lance can make his own box (that I SWEAR I will never open).5. Alone timeOh so important. I used to be incapable of spending much time alone. Whenever I had a quiet afternoon stretched out in front of me, I’d be sure to call a friend for company. But nowadays I positively relish those brief periods of solitude, whenever I can catch them. Now that Lance and I will be sharing a place, I’m a little worried that these alone moments will be hard to get. At this point, however, our work schedules don’t match up, so there are definitely times that we won’t both be home. And I’m sure I’ll have a lot of catching up to do with seeing family and friends, going to the gym, working late, band practice… oh dear. Sweet alone time, when will I find you?! I guess we’ll have to get into the habit of spending time alone while in the same apartment. Our new flat does not lack size, thank god, so one of us could totally be in the office while the other chills in the living room. We’ll just have to practice not disturbing each other.6. The actual moving processOh boy. I loathe moving (well, who doesn’t). I haven’t done it in 3 years, and I wish I could just fast forward to next week, when everything’s packed, lifted, and strapped into the truck, and then upacked into the new place.  But, alas, I will have to live out this move in real time. I know that I tend to get grumpy and snappish when moving, and I totally have to keep myself in check. I’ve told Lance to yell at me if I’m being unnecessarily curt, but he’s so damn sweet I don’t know if he can. So, it’s his undying enthusiasm that I’m relying on to keep the move smooth. We have been thinking ahead a lot, and much is packed and planned already. We’ve got some friends lined up to help, and a few days to do it all in. I guess when it comes to the Big Move itself, it’s all about pacing, taking breaks, not overstressing, and drinking a lot of beer. Ah, hell, maybe this move will be delightful! 7. CommitmentMoving in together: a big step, they say! And it’s true. For many couples, gone are the days of spending your first night together on the day you are wed. And I can’t agree more; marriage is an even bigger step for a couple, and I think it’s important to getting the living-together stuff figured out long beforehand. You’ve got to learn each other’s habits and all the things I discussed above, and on top of that you are signing a lease together- a legally binding contract. If things don’t work out, it will be difficult to figure out what to do about that (who leaves, who stays, who’s sleeping on the couch, who’s paying rent…). Imagine that stuff, along with a divorce at the the same time, eesh! What a mess. What I’m saying here is that moving in together is a big commitment, equal to that of marriage in many ways. Do one at a time, and you save yourself and your relationship undue stress. So, that’s what Lance and I are trying, and I am super positive about our future. I guess I didn’t say a ton about possible solutions to the above difficulties. I realize that is becuase they all have the same solution: COMMUNICATION! Seriously. I know I talk about it all the time, but that is what makes a relationship -any relationship- work. For all problems, from leaving the cap off the toothpaste to paying the rent, talking to your bf/gf about it is the way to go. Not talking = resentment, and eventually bigger problems. If you’re making the Big Move, chances are you want this relationship to go farther some day. And that can happen, if you communicate with your loved one, kindly and often. Wish me luck, I’ll let y’all know how it goes!xoxo, Lucy

Moving Day!

So, I mentioned that perhaps something significant was going on in my life, and here it is: I’m moving in with my boyfriend. Yeah, it’s kind of a big deal, you might say.

Lance and I have been dating for about 7 months, and that might seem a bit soon to be taking this serious step. In fact, I’ll bet that a year ago I would’ve advised just about any couple in the same situation that it was too soon to move in together after only 7 months of dating. But, my relationship with Lance has never been ordinary; we knew we were in love from the moment we met, and we knew we wanted to live together at about month number 2. Just had to wait for our leases to be up on our current apartments, and here we go!

Moving in with your significant other is, of course, cause for celebration. It also brings up worries, though. I think there are things you’ll really never know about each other until you’re actually living together. Even if you already spend just about every night in the same bed, there will still be surprises when you’re sharing the bed and the rest of the apartment.

A few worries one might have about the Big Move (and possible solutions/compromises):

1. Little weird habits
You may think you really know the guy/gal, but everyone’s got some quirky behaviors about their home routine. The first thing that comes to my mind is a dude leaving the toilet seat up. Cliche, yes, but ridiculously annoying for a lady taking a pee in the night. I think Lance is already considerate about this possible annoyance, but who knows what else is in store for me to discover! He’s already expressed to me his concern about my habit of not screwing caps onto bottles and jars all the way. And I’d feel terrible if he dumped a cup of salt into something he was cooking because of my carelessness, so I’m trying to be more conscious of screwing caps onto the condiments.

2. House maintenance
OK, number one problem with co-habitating with any other humans. Goddamn, deciding who should be doing the dishes just never gets easier. I’m quite picky about keeping my kitchen clean, and I cannot begin preparing a meal if the counter’s got crumbs on it and the dishes are piled up. Then again, I loathe mopping and don’t ever think about dusting surfaces. I think Lance and I may be at the same slobbishness level; at least I hope so. I do think it is easier to talk about chores with your bf/gf than with platonic roommates. And by talk, I mean snap at them when you’re grumpy and have to wash a goddamn glass to drink some goddamn water cause nobody ran the dishwasher.

3. Paying for stuff
I learned my lesson from a past relationship, and I am now much more careful about sharing money with my boyfriend. We intend to keep separate bank accounts for the time being (who knows if that’ll ever change). Most of the time, Lance and I just switch off playing for stuff we’re doing together, like groceries, meals out, and stuff for the new apartment. If one of us pays a significant chunk more for something, we pay each other back eventually. So far, so good. Then again, we make about the same amount of money, so I think we have it easier than some couples who might get resentful of one another. As for bills, we’ll each take charge of certain recurring expenses (gas, electric, netflix, internet…) and work out who owes whom every month. At least that’s the plan.

4. Upsetting keepsakes
I’m not talking about drawings from grade school; that’s cute stuff. I’m more worried about finding things from exes. I mean, both Lance and I were with many other people before we met, and that’s fine. Actually, that’s great. I’m really glad we had prior life and love experience, because if we hadn’t I don’t think we’d be so sure of settling down together. But, it’s still a bit jarring to find some sweet token of affection from someone Lance used to love. I’ve stumbled upon a few already in his apartment, and I’m sure there will be more. I, myself, have a box under the bed with photos, letters, and journals that I’m sure Lance would not want to see. I never felt like I could get rid of that stuff, even though I don’t ever look through it. Never wanted to go through some boyfriend-photo burning ceremony either, as I’m on good terms with most of my exes. So I guess the memory box will just remain where it is for the rest of time, and maybe Lance can make his own box (that I SWEAR I will never open).

5. Alone time
Oh so important. I used to be incapable of spending much time alone. Whenever I had a quiet afternoon stretched out in front of me, I’d be sure to call a friend for company. But nowadays I positively relish those brief periods of solitude, whenever I can catch them. Now that Lance and I will be sharing a place, I’m a little worried that these alone moments will be hard to get. At this point, however, our work schedules don’t match up, so there are definitely times that we won’t both be home. And I’m sure I’ll have a lot of catching up to do with seeing family and friends, going to the gym, working late, band practice… oh dear. Sweet alone time, when will I find you?! I guess we’ll have to get into the habit of spending time alone while in the same apartment. Our new flat does not lack size, thank god, so one of us could totally be in the office while the other chills in the living room. We’ll just have to practice not disturbing each other.

6. The actual moving process
Oh boy. I loathe moving (well, who doesn’t). I haven’t done it in 3 years, and I wish I could just fast forward to next week, when everything’s packed, lifted, and strapped into the truck, and then upacked into the new place.  But, alas, I will have to live out this move in real time. I know that I tend to get grumpy and snappish when moving, and I totally have to keep myself in check. I’ve told Lance to yell at me if I’m being unnecessarily curt, but he’s so damn sweet I don’t know if he can. So, it’s his undying enthusiasm that I’m relying on to keep the move smooth. We have been thinking ahead a lot, and much is packed and planned already. We’ve got some friends lined up to help, and a few days to do it all in. I guess when it comes to the Big Move itself, it’s all about pacing, taking breaks, not overstressing, and drinking a lot of beer. Ah, hell, maybe this move will be delightful!

7. Commitment
Moving in together: a big step, they say! And it’s true. For many couples, gone are the days of spending your first night together on the day you are wed. And I can’t agree more; marriage is an even bigger step for a couple, and I think it’s important to getting the living-together stuff figured out long beforehand. You’ve got to learn each other’s habits and all the things I discussed above, and on top of that you are signing a lease together- a legally binding contract. If things don’t work out, it will be difficult to figure out what to do about that (who leaves, who stays, who’s sleeping on the couch, who’s paying rent…). Imagine that stuff, along with a divorce at the the same time, eesh! What a mess. What I’m saying here is that moving in together is a big commitment, equal to that of marriage in many ways. Do one at a time, and you save yourself and your relationship undue stress. So, that’s what Lance and I are trying, and I am super positive about our future.

I guess I didn’t say a ton about possible solutions to the above difficulties. I realize that is becuase they all have the same solution: COMMUNICATION! Seriously. I know I talk about it all the time, but that is what makes a relationship -any relationship- work. For all problems, from leaving the cap off the toothpaste to paying the rent, talking to your bf/gf about it is the way to go. Not talking = resentment, and eventually bigger problems. If you’re making the Big Move, chances are you want this relationship to go farther some day. And that can happen, if you communicate with your loved one, kindly and often.

Wish me luck, I’ll let y’all know how it goes!

xoxo, Lucy

30 March 36
sex advicelove advicedating advicerelationship advicelovemovingapartmentdating
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Notes

  1. chizin reblogged this from gettingdowninchitown and added:
    real Carrier. Sexy...sex. Haha. Seriously, check
  2. yoja reblogged this from gettingdowninchitown
  3. integrating reblogged this from gettingdowninchitown and added:
    Cái này hay ^^
  4. gettingdowninchitown posted this

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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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