Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
Gettin’ Rid of Old Baggage Dear Lucy, My boyfriend still has his ex’s clothes in his closet & her stuff in the bathroom. I told him that it made me uncomfortable to see another girl’s clothes in his room. He said he didn’t like having it around either and agreed w/ me that he should ditch the stuff but has yet to actually do it. He is generally slow at taking care of things around the house so I’m not surprised he hasn’t done it yet but I still want the stuff gone. Would it be wrong if I initiated the process (like bagged everything up)? I don’t know much about about the previous relationship but I know it was a big source of stress for him and I think he has just been avoiding dealing with the stuff. I don’t want him to think I’m invading his space or privacy but I don’t think I’m being unreasonable either. In a way, I understand your boyfriend’s behavior. Objects can really hold memories, and it could be really hard to go through his ex’s junk without stirring up unwanted reflections of the past. And, since it sounds like his history with this girl was not so great, dealing with her left-behind possessions could be emotional and uncomfortable for him.But, at the same time, her stuff is making YOU uncomfortable. Which is completely understandable. I mean, ick! Who wants to see remnants from your partner’s past loves lying around? Not me (see my post about moving in with my boyfriend, from last week), and, clearly, not you.You’ve asked him already to bag up the ex’s crap. He hasn’t done so, and you both want it gone. I think that now, it is totally OK for you to take the initiative on this one. However, I think it would be a bad idea to just toss all her shit into boxes without running it by your bf first.The approach for this conversation is important; he’s trying not to think about it, and chances are he won’t be too keen on talking about it. Bring it up gently, and not accusingly. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable with her stuff around his place, and that you’d be more comfortable if it was no longer present. Then tell him that you’ll take care of the removal of said items if that’s OK with him, or you’ll help him pack it up, but that either way it has to happen right away. xoxo, Lucy

Gettin’ Rid of Old Baggage


Dear Lucy,

My boyfriend still has his ex’s clothes in his closet & her stuff in the bathroom. I told him that it made me uncomfortable to see another girl’s clothes in his room. He said he didn’t like having it around either and agreed w/ me that he should ditch the stuff but has yet to actually do it. He is generally slow at taking care of things around the house so I’m not surprised he hasn’t done it yet but I still want the stuff gone. Would it be wrong if I initiated the process (like bagged everything up)? I don’t know much about about the previous relationship but I know it was a big source of stress for him and I think he has just been avoiding dealing with the stuff. I don’t want him to think I’m invading his space or privacy but I don’t think I’m being unreasonable either.
 
In a way, I understand your boyfriend’s behavior. Objects can really hold memories, and it could be really hard to go through his ex’s junk without stirring up unwanted reflections of the past. And, since it sounds like his history with this girl was not so great, dealing with her left-behind possessions could be emotional and uncomfortable for him.

But, at the same time, her stuff is making YOU uncomfortable. Which is completely understandable. I mean, ick! Who wants to see remnants from your partner’s past loves lying around? Not me (see my post about moving in with my boyfriend, from last week), and, clearly, not you.

You’ve asked him already to bag up the ex’s crap. He hasn’t done so, and you both want it gone. I think that now, it is totally OK for you to take the initiative on this one. However, I think it would be a bad idea to just toss all her shit into boxes without running it by your bf first.

The approach for this conversation is important; he’s trying not to think about it, and chances are he won’t be too keen on talking about it. Bring it up gently, and not accusingly. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable with her stuff around his place, and that you’d be more comfortable if it was no longer present. Then tell him that you’ll take care of the removal of said items if that’s OK with him, or you’ll help him pack it up, but that either way it has to happen right away.

xoxo, Lucy

12 April 5
dating advice,sexsex advicedatingloverelationshipsboyfriendsbaggage
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Notes

  1. proudfoots reblogged this from gettingdowninchitown and added:
    upset you. Oh wait. Maybe that’s just me. Lol wut.
  2. noenvynofear reblogged this from gettingdowninchitown and added:
    an issue for me too!I asked Chris to get rid of...scarves but he refused to throw them...
  3. gettingdowninchitown posted this

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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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