Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
I received this text message today:“I hate you for doing this to me. We had all summer to try. I can’t live. You suck right now.”My immediate reaction was a brief panic. Who had I spurned so badly? Then, I took a look at the phone number from which the text came. Local, yes, but not anyone in my phone book. Which means it was a wrong number. Or someone I’d deleted from my phone book, hoping to never communicate with him again, but we’ll assume that’s highly unlikely. This mistakenly sent message got me thinking. Clearly, the sender was heartbroken. They’d been dumped or rejected by someone they had major feelings for, and the sender was deep into his/her pain phase of the break up. The phase wherein you send terrible messages like this one. What good is a message like this going to do? The hating and sucking parts: sure, fair enough. The summer part: a bit cryptic, we’ll get back to that later. The declaration that the sender doesn’t want to live: unacceptable.In the midst of a break up, it is never fair to tell someone you want to die. Even if you really feel that way at the time, you’re not actually going to die from a broken heart. If you tell the person on the other side of your break up that you want to kill yourself, however, what are they supposed to do about it? That is a super sucky thing to put them through. To avoid confusing hypothetical pronouns, I’m going to use myself as an example… Let’s say I was dumping a guy. And it wasn’t pretty. Feelings were hurt, things were misunderstood, he was having trouble letting go. He may, in a fit of desperation, tell me that he was so miserable about our break up that he wanted to die. I, being empathetic to a fault, would then feel worried about the guy’s welfare. I’d feel responsible if he were to (god forbid) attempt to hurt himself. I would feel obligated to pick up the phone of he called, or to respond to texts. If I didn’t respond, I’d be sitting there worrying that he might try something stupid. And there I’d be, ensnared in his net, unable to truly break free without feeling horribly guilty. And probably, perhaps without even realizing it, that’s what the guy I was attempting to dump was trying to make happen with his inconsiderate morbid whining.I realize that got a little ranty there. You are now wondering if this has happened to me. Not exactly, but something similar did occur. And I’m clearly still a little pissed about it. The moral is: do not threaten to hurt yourself as a way to manipulate your bf/gf into staying with you. Moving on…So: “We had all summer to try.” Being that this is the beginning of summer, this poor chap must have just gotten dumped recently. It sounds like the couple had intended to keep the relationship going through the summer, but now, no dice. I say: summer is the best time for lovin’! You’re free, man (or maybe it’s a gal who wrote it)! Have a fling! Hang out at beer gardens in the out-of-doors! Don’t moon over what was lost- you’re young! (maybe; I have no idea how old this person is) You’re beautiful! (perhaps; again, no real profile on the sender) You’re about to embark on a new frontier! (that one seems pretty certain)Anyway, enough analyzing. I haven’t responded to this mystery text, but now I’m wondering if I should. Did the person realize their mistake and resend to the true receiver? Are they still wallowing in grief? Could I help by responding? Would it be kind of fun to respond anyway?xoxo, LucyP.S. Opening up the floor on this one, readers. What do you think? Should I respond, and what should I say?

I received this text message today:

“I hate you for doing this to me. We had all summer to try. I can’t live. You suck right now.”

My immediate reaction was a brief panic. Who had I spurned so badly? Then, I took a look at the phone number from which the text came. Local, yes, but not anyone in my phone book. Which means it was a wrong number. Or someone I’d deleted from my phone book, hoping to never communicate with him again, but we’ll assume that’s highly unlikely.

This mistakenly sent message got me thinking. Clearly, the sender was heartbroken. They’d been dumped or rejected by someone they had major feelings for, and the sender was deep into his/her pain phase of the break up. The phase wherein you send terrible messages like this one. What good is a message like this going to do? The hating and sucking parts: sure, fair enough. The summer part: a bit cryptic, we’ll get back to that later. The declaration that the sender doesn’t want to live: unacceptable.

In the midst of a break up, it is never fair to tell someone you want to die. Even if you really feel that way at the time, you’re not actually going to die from a broken heart. If you tell the person on the other side of your break up that you want to kill yourself, however, what are they supposed to do about it? That is a super sucky thing to put them through. To avoid confusing hypothetical pronouns, I’m going to use myself as an example…

Let’s say I was dumping a guy. And it wasn’t pretty. Feelings were hurt, things were misunderstood, he was having trouble letting go. He may, in a fit of desperation, tell me that he was so miserable about our break up that he wanted to die. I, being empathetic to a fault, would then feel worried about the guy’s welfare. I’d feel responsible if he were to (god forbid) attempt to hurt himself. I would feel obligated to pick up the phone of he called, or to respond to texts. If I didn’t respond, I’d be sitting there worrying that he might try something stupid. And there I’d be, ensnared in his net, unable to truly break free without feeling horribly guilty. And probably, perhaps without even realizing it, that’s what the guy I was attempting to dump was trying to make happen with his inconsiderate morbid whining.

I realize that got a little ranty there. You are now wondering if this has happened to me. Not exactly, but something similar did occur. And I’m clearly still a little pissed about it. The moral is: do not threaten to hurt yourself as a way to manipulate your bf/gf into staying with you. Moving on…

So: “We had all summer to try.” Being that this is the beginning of summer, this poor chap must have just gotten dumped recently. It sounds like the couple had intended to keep the relationship going through the summer, but now, no dice. I say: summer is the best time for lovin’! You’re free, man (or maybe it’s a gal who wrote it)! Have a fling! Hang out at beer gardens in the out-of-doors! Don’t moon over what was lost- you’re young! (maybe; I have no idea how old this person is) You’re beautiful! (perhaps; again, no real profile on the sender) You’re about to embark on a new frontier! (that one seems pretty certain)

Anyway, enough analyzing. I haven’t responded to this mystery text, but now I’m wondering if I should. Did the person realize their mistake and resend to the true receiver? Are they still wallowing in grief? Could I help by responding? Would it be kind of fun to respond anyway?

xoxo, Lucy

P.S. Opening up the floor on this one, readers. What do you think? Should I respond, and what should I say?

9 June 42
sexsex advicesex tipsrelationshipslovetextsphoneboysdating
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Notes

  1. paradisobrands reblogged this from gettingdowninchitown
  2. spottedelephante answered: He’ll yes! Respond! Either way though- responding or not responding but by responding that’s the only way you could possibly help them
  3. everythingourparentssaid answered: you can’t not respond because then the sender will think (s)he’s getting spurned when they’re already clearly upset at this person.
  4. mjgr1991 answered: I’d say call the person and see if you can help.
  5. mercurysoapbox answered: There is not much you can say to assuage this persons obvious hurt besides “You are better off alone, than trapping someone you care about.
  6. mzniki13 answered: I would respond, sounds like the person is heartbroken and an unbiased ear might be just what they need.
  7. realmofrandomness answered: I think you should respond, and say exactly what you said in your post
  8. gingerked answered: I say respond and maybe give him some advice similar to this post
  9. lastnightswritings answered: Repy and ask him/her how cute they are…
  10. mhappyd00d answered: I say respond because you never know your words might help them. The only thing they will probably feel is embarrassment for sending.
  11. wendylovescasper answered: I think you should respond. Think of how they are just sitting around for the person to respond who they were intending to contact.
  12. willwork4theatre answered: I’d say respond and give words of encouragement along the lines of get your ass in gear and go find that person who really wants the true you
  13. daisy--chained answered: respond and offer your excellent advice
  14. imaramblinwoman answered: You should respond and say they had the wrong number but you hope that they are alright.
  15. julietbam answered: I’d respond just making sure the persons alright.
  16. leespeace answered: I would feel honored to send a text to the wrong person and get a reply back from you! Who knows? Maybe it was fate.
  17. kaileejanelle answered: Please respond and let us know how it goes!
  18. misssusiehadasteamboat answered: Yeah, respond. Just let the person know they have the wrong number and wish them luck and happiness.
  19. theblueandthewhite answered: you should respond and tell them you think they have the wrong number, then sum up what you just said.
  20. balancinginhighheels answered: I think you have to at least send something…they could be getting angry their beloved hasn’t responded :(
  21. onajourneytofindme answered: Respond. Sometimes the words of a perfect stranger is very helpful.
  22. rhododendrondiamonds answered: I agree with this post 100% And if it were me I would respond just to let them know break ups happen everyday their world isn’t over :)
  23. dearabi answered: at least respond saying they got the wrong number. they could be at home checking their phone every 5 seconds to see if someone responded…
  24. gettingdowninchitown posted this

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Life. Love. Lust.

I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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