I’ll Have The Special

Dear Lucy,

My boyfriend is moving to Texas this summer & I was wondering what I could do to make our last time special… ?

I’ve had “last times” with a quite a few people, and I’ve learned that it’s important to not put too much pressure on yourself to make it super special. When your lover is leaving (or if you are leaving your lover), it’s hard not to think about the future. If you don’t have plans to see them again for months, or forever, it’s really easy for the What Ifs to take over your thoughts: “What if I never feel this way again? What if I never see her naked again? What if we fuck this up and our last time doesn’t feel good enough? What if I say/do the wrong thing?”

It’s hard (and sounds sappy as hell), but my suggestion is to try to let your last weeks with your boyfriend be special all the time. Don’t think of the things you do together as the “last” things you’ll ever do, think of them as these great things you both like that you want to experience together for as long as you can. And maybe you will do them again, and maybe they’ll just be sweet memories while you begin a relationship with a new guy a few months down the road.

That said, there’s nothing wrong with making sex even specialer than usual. You may want to consider setting up a particularly special date night the weekend before your last night. I say this because your actual last time having sex before he leaves could be really emotional. If you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into a spectacular sex event, and he can’t get it up cause he’s bawling like a baby, then you could both end up feeling worse. So perhaps do the superspecial stuff a few days earlier so you’ll have a chance to try again if it doesn’t all work out as planned.

Lingerie is always a good thing to boost the specialness of an evening. There’s the tried-and-true gift method: Give your boyf a wrapped gift of a new set of sexy undies, bra, garter belt, stockings, or whatever you choose. Then tell him that’s what you’ll be wearing all night under your clothes, and he can imagine stripping it off you later.

If your funds are low, forget the lingerie altogether. Just put on a skirt or dress without any underwear whatsoever, and flash him right before you walk out the door. He’ll get all worked up knowing you’re going commando all night. Maybe you can get a corner booth at a restaurant, and his fingers can do a little elicit exploring to make you both excited for more later…

When you get back home, make the night about favorites. This is not the time to try out that one crazy kinky thing he’s been begging you to do. If you hate it, it’s not going to leave either of you with a good taste in your mouth (perhaps literally). So set up your sexual experience with everything you know he is guaranteed to love: put on his favorite music and do a little striptease, or play a movie that you know will get him in the mood, or bake his favorite cake wearing only an apron.

In bed, keep on the favorites train. If he really digs blowjobs, keep at the oral for a little longer than usual. Perform the positions you know he likes the most, and give him a good view of your body so he can make a mental snapshot for later use. Most of all, stay focused on the passion. Don’t let your mind wander to next week when you may not have the opportunity to do these things again. Instead, think about how dang good it feels right at that moment. And tell him that it feels good, too.

Best wishes,

Xoxo, Lucy

1 June 5