Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
Today I’m starting a new segment called…                                       I’m Not a Doctor, But I Am a Lady:                                 -Unqualified, but Helpful, Health Advice-                                                             - - - -                                                      Mid-Cycle Pain Dear Lucy, So today my body felt weird. My boobs are slightly sore and I’m nowhere near my period. I also felt little cramps. Should I be worried? We used a condom and everything. I assume you’re worried that you may be pregnant. I’m not a doctor, and so I can’t say for sure, but it sounds to me that you’re just going through a little mittelschmerz.   I’m sorry, what?! Did you say mittelschmerz? Why, yes, I did. Mittelschmerz means (in German) “middle pain,” and the term is associated with the pain some women experience in the middle of their menstrual cycles, while they are ovulating. Most women have a monthly cycle of around 28 days, during which the following things happen:  Day 1 is when you start surfin’ the crimson wave Day 5 is when Aunt Flo finally leaves town (or Day 4-7, it varies) Days 8-12ish This is your most fertile time of the month. Your egg is still chillin’ in one of your ovaries (or both- twins!), waiting to come out for a visit from Mr. Sperm and his bajillion buddies. At this time, your uterus starts growing this thick lining. If your egg is not fertilized, you shed the lining later in the month (this is actually menstrual “blood”). Day 12-15ish is actual ovulation. This means that your egg comes down the fallopian tube and into your uterus. If your egg meets up with a sperm successfully during this time, it becomes fertilized. Your uterine lining becomes a nice cushiony spot for the egg to attach to, and for the baby to grow in your womb. Day 15-28 if your egg is not fertilized, not much happens here. Except that a week before your period you may feel kinda horrible, getting zits and bloated and eating a lot of ice cream. You may, perhaps, throw a ceramic vase at your boyfriend and weep uncontrollably when it shatters against the wall, prompting him to ask you if you’re PMSing, which rekindles your rage even though you know it’s true. You are PMSing. Day 28/1 The cycle begins again. You get your period, and your boyfriend brings home a bottle of wine to celebrate another month of not getting you knocked up. Alright, so what’s up with the boob pain and cramps in the middle of the month? Well, it is perfectly normal to have a little pain during ovulation, which occurs about halfway in-between periods. I usually have light cramps that feel like little twinges in the area below and to the right or left of my belly button. Like maybe someone has taken a needlenosed pliers and given one of my ovaries a little pinch and twist. Interestingly, whichever side of your abdomen you feel the pain in is probably the ovary that’s releasing the egg. Kinda cool to know. Breast and nipple tenderness is also quite common. Other effects of the ‘schmerz can include light spotting (like a little bit of blood, but not a full period), maybe a little swelling of the vulva or nearby lymphnodes, and some mucusy discharge (mm). And that’s about it- not too big of a deal, considering. If you’re super uncomfortable, pop some painkillers, smoke a bowl, and/or take a bath. Of course, if any of these symptoms seem crazy painful or out of control, there may be other, more serious things going on with your body. Get them checked out by your gyno if you’re worried. As for your concern about pregnancy; cramps and tittie tenderness could be associated with having a bun in your oven. But these things would be more extreme, and you probably won’t get your period 2 weeks later. If it’s just those little mittelschmerzy cramps, you’re probably cool. Xoxo, Nurse Lucy

Today I’m starting a new segment called…

                                      I’m Not a Doctor, But I Am a Lady:

                                -Unqualified, but Helpful, Health Advice-

                                                            - - - -

                                                     Mid-Cycle Pain

Dear Lucy,

So today my body felt weird. My boobs are slightly sore and I’m nowhere near my period. I also felt little cramps. Should I be worried? We used a condom and everything.

I assume you’re worried that you may be pregnant. I’m not a doctor, and so I can’t say for sure, but it sounds to me that you’re just going through a little mittelschmerz.

 

I’m sorry, what?! Did you say mittelschmerz? Why, yes, I did. Mittelschmerz means (in German) “middle pain,” and the term is associated with the pain some women experience in the middle of their menstrual cycles, while they are ovulating.

Most women have a monthly cycle of around 28 days, during which the following things happen: 

Day 1 is when you start surfin’ the crimson wave

Day 5 is when Aunt Flo finally leaves town (or Day 4-7, it varies)

Days 8-12ish This is your most fertile time of the month. Your egg is still chillin’ in one of your ovaries (or both- twins!), waiting to come out for a visit from Mr. Sperm and his bajillion buddies.

At this time, your uterus starts growing this thick lining. If your egg is not fertilized, you shed the lining later in the month (this is actually menstrual “blood”).

Day 12-15ish is actual ovulation. This means that your egg comes down the fallopian tube and into your uterus. If your egg meets up with a sperm successfully during this time, it becomes fertilized. Your uterine lining becomes a nice cushiony spot for the egg to attach to, and for the baby to grow in your womb.

Day 15-28 if your egg is not fertilized, not much happens here. Except that a week before your period you may feel kinda horrible, getting zits and bloated and eating a lot of ice cream. You may, perhaps, throw a ceramic vase at your boyfriend and weep uncontrollably when it shatters against the wall, prompting him to ask you if you’re PMSing, which rekindles your rage even though you know it’s true. You are PMSing.

Day 28/1 The cycle begins again. You get your period, and your boyfriend brings home a bottle of wine to celebrate another month of not getting you knocked up.

Alright, so what’s up with the boob pain and cramps in the middle of the month? Well, it is perfectly normal to have a little pain during ovulation, which occurs about halfway in-between periods. I usually have light cramps that feel like little twinges in the area below and to the right or left of my belly button. Like maybe someone has taken a needlenosed pliers and given one of my ovaries a little pinch and twist. Interestingly, whichever side of your abdomen you feel the pain in is probably the ovary that’s releasing the egg. Kinda cool to know.

Breast and nipple tenderness is also quite common. Other effects of the ‘schmerz can include light spotting (like a little bit of blood, but not a full period), maybe a little swelling of the vulva or nearby lymphnodes, and some mucusy discharge (mm). And that’s about it- not too big of a deal, considering. If you’re super uncomfortable, pop some painkillers, smoke a bowl, and/or take a bath.

Of course, if any of these symptoms seem crazy painful or out of control, there may be other, more serious things going on with your body. Get them checked out by your gyno if you’re worried. As for your concern about pregnancy; cramps and tittie tenderness could be associated with having a bun in your oven. But these things would be more extreme, and you probably won’t get your period 2 weeks later.

If it’s just those little mittelschmerzy cramps, you’re probably cool.

Xoxo, Nurse Lucy

3 August 11
sexsex adviceovulationmenstruationmittelschmerznaughty nurse
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  1. gettingdowninchitown posted this

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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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