Gettin' Down in Chi-Town
Where Do I Put My Hands?… Receiving Cunnilingus Dear Lucy, I have never given or received oral, but the chance arose the other day… What exactly should you do when receiving oral sex? I know, like, hygiene is a must, but during the actual event I feel like I’m just going to lie prone like a mannequin. I just imagine it would be hard to touch him or do something beyond being all stiff. Alright, I agree that hygiene is a must. Washing your vag before gettin’ down in any way with anyone is certainly the polite thing to do. A couple notes on that, however: a little soap and water should do the trick just fine. No need for any cleaning measures beyond that, as in NO DOUCHING. Vaginal douches are not good for your body. They’re packed with chemicals and fragrances that could be irritating to your crotch, and could actually cause infection. Or push an existing infection further up into your ladyparts. There’s a delicate balance of friendly bacteria living in your cootch, and they’re there to keep you clean all on their own. Don’t flush them out. If you’re worried about your smell, don’t be. Guys like the smell and taste of vaginas, and if he tells you otherwise kick him out of your bed. So, yeah, pre-sexy time, just wash gently with a washcloth to get the usual daily discharge or whatevs out of your folds, and continue forth. As for pube maintenance, I like to do a little trimming. Some women shave the whole area, and that’s cool. Some may think it’s sexy, some may think you look creepily like a little girl, some may like it better if you leave the whole nest alone and don’t remove a single hair. Whatever lifts your luggage (as my hero Dan Savage would say), just don’t feel pressure to groom your pubic hair in any way you don’t want to. On to the actual act of cunniligus- from the receiving end. If you are new to sex, it may be difficult to imagine what you’re going to do when you’re getting head until you’re actually there, getting it. I think that when it’s happening to you for reals, your hands will  wander around wherever they feel like it. Lying there, “being all stiff,” is kinda hard to do when your vag, and the rest of your body, is freaking out from all the good feelings. It’s totally OK to touch the person who is going down on you. In fact, it will most likely reassure your partner that he/she is doing a good job. Start with a little touching of the hair, move on to stroking their ears and the back of their neck. If your head-giver’s hands are holding onto your hips or belly or somewhere reachable, you can hold and stroke your partner’s hands. Most folks think it’s super sexy to see their lover touch herself. You can –and should!- touch your own breasts and nipples while you’re getting head. Nipple stimulation can help you orgasm, and your lover will get turned on watching you touch yourself. You can also run your hands over your belly, hips, legs (if they’re bent or you’re sitting up), face and neck. It may seem awkward at first, but trust me, it’s sexy for both of you. A third option is to hold onto something in the surrounding area. Beds with posts or a headboard are great for this. You can also grab the pillow above your head, the mattress, or the sheets/blankets. Clutching something real hard when you’re coming is advisable, as you may injure that hard-working guy or gal between your legs by squeezing them too much. Of course, pulling his hair or digging your fingernails into his shoulders can also be great, if y’all are into that. As for the rest of your body, a little hip gyration and gentle thrusting is fun when you’re getting cunnilinged. You gotta keep it gentle, however, or you could throw your partner off your clit, and you certainly don’t want that. Try doing different stuff with your legs; bending one or both knees, wrapping your legs around your lover’s back, holding onto your thighs to keep your legs in the air. And be vocal! Moan, groan, advise, whimper, scream, curse. Put a pillow or your hand over your face if you’re in a place where you can’t get too loud. Don’t be afraid to try new things and discover what you like the best. And ask your partner what he or she likes, too. Xoxo, Lucy

Where Do I Put My Hands?… Receiving Cunnilingus

Dear Lucy,

I have never given or received oral, but the chance arose the other day… What exactly should you do when receiving oral sex? I know, like, hygiene is a must, but during the actual event I feel like I’m just going to lie prone like a mannequin. I just imagine it would be hard to touch him or do something beyond being all stiff.

Alright, I agree that hygiene is a must. Washing your vag before gettin’ down in any way with anyone is certainly the polite thing to do. A couple notes on that, however: a little soap and water should do the trick just fine. No need for any cleaning measures beyond that, as in NO DOUCHING. Vaginal douches are not good for your body. They’re packed with chemicals and fragrances that could be irritating to your crotch, and could actually cause infection. Or push an existing infection further up into your ladyparts.

There’s a delicate balance of friendly bacteria living in your cootch, and they’re there to keep you clean all on their own. Don’t flush them out. If you’re worried about your smell, don’t be. Guys like the smell and taste of vaginas, and if he tells you otherwise kick him out of your bed. So, yeah, pre-sexy time, just wash gently with a washcloth to get the usual daily discharge or whatevs out of your folds, and continue forth.

As for pube maintenance, I like to do a little trimming. Some women shave the whole area, and that’s cool. Some may think it’s sexy, some may think you look creepily like a little girl, some may like it better if you leave the whole nest alone and don’t remove a single hair. Whatever lifts your luggage (as my hero Dan Savage would say), just don’t feel pressure to groom your pubic hair in any way you don’t want to.

On to the actual act of cunniligus- from the receiving end. If you are new to sex, it may be difficult to imagine what you’re going to do when you’re getting head until you’re actually there, getting it. I think that when it’s happening to you for reals, your hands will  wander around wherever they feel like it. Lying there, “being all stiff,” is kinda hard to do when your vag, and the rest of your body, is freaking out from all the good feelings.

It’s totally OK to touch the person who is going down on you. In fact, it will most likely reassure your partner that he/she is doing a good job. Start with a little touching of the hair, move on to stroking their ears and the back of their neck. If your head-giver’s hands are holding onto your hips or belly or somewhere reachable, you can hold and stroke your partner’s hands.

Most folks think it’s super sexy to see their lover touch herself. You can –and should!- touch your own breasts and nipples while you’re getting head. Nipple stimulation can help you orgasm, and your lover will get turned on watching you touch yourself. You can also run your hands over your belly, hips, legs (if they’re bent or you’re sitting up), face and neck. It may seem awkward at first, but trust me, it’s sexy for both of you.

A third option is to hold onto something in the surrounding area. Beds with posts or a headboard are great for this. You can also grab the pillow above your head, the mattress, or the sheets/blankets. Clutching something real hard when you’re coming is advisable, as you may injure that hard-working guy or gal between your legs by squeezing them too much. Of course, pulling his hair or digging your fingernails into his shoulders can also be great, if y’all are into that.

As for the rest of your body, a little hip gyration and gentle thrusting is fun when you’re getting cunnilinged. You gotta keep it gentle, however, or you could throw your partner off your clit, and you certainly don’t want that. Try doing different stuff with your legs; bending one or both knees, wrapping your legs around your lover’s back, holding onto your thighs to keep your legs in the air. And be vocal! Moan, groan, advise, whimper, scream, curse. Put a pillow or your hand over your face if you’re in a place where you can’t get too loud.

Don’t be afraid to try new things and discover what you like the best. And ask your partner what he or she likes, too.

Xoxo, Lucy

12 August 45
cunnilingussexsex adviceoralgyrating
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    I remember someone asking me this in high school. She ‘jokingly’ asked if she should read a magazine. It was actually...
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    recent male-centric post.
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I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com


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