Sexting for a New Generation

Lucy, what are your thoughts on sending nude pictures to your boyfriend? I’m seventeen (and, arguably, surrounded by douchey teenage boys) and am very reluctant about sexting with images because I would never want it going viral via said douchey teenage boys.

My thoughts on sexting to teenage boys are: NEVER DO.

Even if he’s your boyfriend and you love him and trust him, you are right in acknowledging that he’s probably surrounded by many (perhaps “douchey”) teenage boys.

Even if he swears he’ll never show your personal photos, there’s more than a slim chance that they could be seen by undesirable viewers. What if he leaves his phone somewhere? Or his buddies hear about the photos and tease him by stealing his phone? Or he uploads the photos to his computer, and someone else has access to his computer? 

The list of “what ifs” goes on, but the result is always the same: you would be the one with the shitty consequences. You are right to be aware of the fact that risky pictures could “go viral.” And this could be really terrible for you some time in the future.

The easy accessibility of people’s personal photos, through sexting and the internet, is still a new phenomenon. We really don’t know how it can, and will, go. More importantly, if you don’t know where the sexy photos of you end up, then you don’t know when those sexy photos of you could resurface. The ethics and laws on these things are still being figured out. But you certainly do not want some regrettable thing from when you were 17 to ruin a job interview 20 years from now, for instance.

I am relieved to hear that you are reluctant to send nude photos of yourself out into the cosmos. That is seriously the right attitude to have - keep it up forever! And if some douchey dude is pressuring you to do it anyway, get him out of your life now. Because those photos can be forever.

xoxo, 

Lucy

12 July 12 Permalink

SEX ADVICE RELAY: JANUARY 2011

I’m thinking of making this a monthly column, wherein I challenge my loquacious self to answer many questions in a paragraph or less. So, on your marks… get set…

Dear Lucy,
If a girl has been fingered a lot and bled a bit the first time that happened, will there still be blood when she actually loses her virginity?

I’d say probably not. It sounds as if she/you may have had her/your hymen break the first time she/you were fingered. (Let’s just say you. It’s more personal.) I wasn’t there for the initial bleeding, but you probably bled because your cherry was popped, or perhaps you were scratched inside by accident. But you don’t mention pain, and that seems unlikely. There could be blood the first time you have sexual intercourse, but it’s my best guess that you’ve already gotten that out of the way.

Dear Lucy,

Well I haven’t had sex since me and my boyfriend, of a year and half, broke up in April. I’ve been feeling the need for sex, but I don’t want to have sex with just anyone. So I’ve been watching porn and masturbating to it. Is it normal for an 18 year old girl to watch porn? I mean, I feel as if porn is only for guys.

Totes normal. Yes, most porn is geared toward guys, but that doesn’t mean girls can’t enjoy it as well. The internet is not your brother’s treehouse; there’s no possibility of “no girls allowed” porn websites. I think you are wise not have sex with “just anyone”, and to engage in some self-lovin’ in the meantime. Check out Babeland’s sweet guide to porn for women: http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/features/womenguidetoporn. Or the “female friendly” link on Pornhub.

Dear Lucy,

I just had sex with my boyfriend, and my period started during sex! Is it true that you can’t get pregnant when you have your period?

No! It is NOT true that you can’t get pregnant on your period! It may be less likely, but it is not entirely out of the question. Use your preferred type of birth control during your period, and the rest of the time, too.

Dear Lucy,

Follow up question for the herpes post. My friend has herpes and a current outbreak. I borrowed her tights and wore them. Can I have gotten herpes that way?

Highly unlikely. The herpes virus is passed through skin-to-skin contact, and not through inanimate objects like clothes, towels, soap, or toilets.

Dear Lucy,

May we see you naked? :)

Of course not. I intend to preserve my privacy as much as possible. And that goes for all you anonymous folks who ask if I want to sleep with/blow/date them. Not gonna happen. If you read my blog consistently and thoroughly, you’d know that I am contentedly involved in an awesome relationship, which remains “closed” as of now. So, please enjoy all my blog has to offer, and know that you’re not gonna get anything beyond that from me. Honestly; some people!

xoxo,

Lucy

6 January 10 Permalink