Post(s) tagged with "penis"
How many inches do you call a “proper size”? I’m not really sure if it’s big enough…
I assume that this question of “proper size” is referring to penis size specifically. Well, my friend, there is no correct answer to this question because one, single, proper size of dick does not exist in the world. The proper size must be determined subjectively by whomever is experiencing the penis: both yourself and your partner. There is much insight to be found in the phrase “it’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean.”
A wide-spread (ha! sorry) stereotype in terms of guys’ cocks is that bigger is better. However, there are many more petite gals out there that just can’t deal with too much dick. If you are well-endowed, you just might not fit too great into smaller vaginas. Trying to stuff it in to a too-small space might make both of you uncomfortable, or even cause pain, and that’s not going to give you the pleasure and satisfaction you want.
The opposite may be true as well; a penis may be too small for a girl to get a lot of feeling from peen-vag sex. Then again, a girl may not have orgasm at all from intercourse, and her smaller-dicked boyfriend may be particularly gifted at the oral arts, so size isn’t an issue anyway. What I’m trying to say is that, really, any pairing of two people in a sexual situation is going to require a trial period. You’ll try out different positions and motions and discover what you both like best when you are being intimate with one another. This same principle applies for any couple, any size, any gender: there’s not a “proper” size, gender, position, motion, lubricant, birth control method, color of bedsheets, the list goes on. Every aspect of successful sex depends on how one feels in that particular instant.
This may even change from day to day! I’ve been with only one dick for over a year now, and we’re still discovering new stuff. And, depending on how my body feels and what part of my cycle I’m on, we’ve noticed that certain things feel better one day, and not as good the next. There’s some days that I feel like Lance’s dick is bumping into my IUD when we’re having sex, and I just can’t get comfortable having him in very deep. There’s other days that he’ll go really deep, and I can’t get enough. So there you go.
One more semi-related comment: if you think your dick is too small, don’t try to enlarge it. It’s impossible. My buddy Rod somehow aquired a penis pump in college, and I wickedly convinced him to try it out. Standing outside the bathroom door, I made Rod give me the play-by-play as he stuck his dick into this plastic tube and pumped. After yelling through the door, “My dick’s turning purple!” and “Now it’s just stuck to the side of the tube!” Rod determined that the penis pump was a sham and he gave up. And good reason too, I hear his lady likes his penis size just fine.
xoxo,
Lucy
Is a guy supposed to wear a condom while you give them a blow job?
Really, “supposed to” is something that you and this guy need to decide for yourselves.
Is using a condom for oral sex safer; does it give you and your partner less risk of passing STIs between you? Yes, it is safer, and does provide more protection from orally-passed STIs.
Is dude going to be able to have an orgasm with a condom on? As long as you work together to help him attain one. Meaning, he tells you what feels right, and you are game for putting in the work. Don’t worry, he’ll get there. And with much easier clean up!
Do condoms taste good? Well, they taste like balloons and rubber gloves, so if you like that taste… Seriously though, DO NOT use lubricated condoms for oral sex. Nasty. Flavored condoms are pretty easy to find, and come in a delicious variety (banana, vanilla, kiss o’ mint…). These rubbers are meant specifically for oral sex, and not for vaginal or anal intercourse. So you gotta hope that somebody’s using them for blowjobs, cause the condom companies keep making them.
On that note, I heard from a friend that the teen clinic at which he works kept running out of flavored condoms. A lot of BJ-safety-conscious teenagers, you ask? Unfortunately, no. Turns out the hooligans were chewing on the condoms like gum. Ew, ew, ew. Never do.
If you and this due you’re blowing are newly acquainted, it’s a great idea to use condoms for all penis-related sex activities. If you’re hooking up with multiple penises, it’s an even better idea. Keep using condoms until you’re settling into a more committed relationship, in which both you and your guy get tested, and agree not to hook up with others. Then it’s ok to shed the sheaths, as long as you stick to your agreements.
xoxo,
Lucy
After taking a poll of all the friends in the room at the time (2 guys, 2 gal. All experienced BJ givers & receivers), my initial thoughts were confirmed: letting it back out is usually the way to go.
To clarify, what I think you mean is that you give a guy a blowjob, he ejaculates in your mouth, and then you open your mouth while he finishes his orgasm. This lets his jizz run out of your mouth, down his dick, and onto his crotch, your hands (if they’re involved), and maybe the bed or whatever surface he’s sitting/laying on. Yes, it’s messy. But if you’re not into swallowing every time, this is a completely acceptable action.
The best way to deal with the mess is to be prepared. While spontaneity is valuable occasionally, if you know you’re getting down into sexy time, you can take a sec to get ready for it. Have a towel handy for clean up, or a dirty t-shirt from the laundry hamper. Lance and I keep a stack of bandannas on his dresser for various household uses; BJ cleanup being a common one. Your dude can also sit on a towel while receiving head, in order to save the sheets, or your Italian leather sofa.
Unless you really love swallowing, you can save it for the times when it’s totes necessary, like giving oral outdoors, or in the car. On such an occasion, mess is not as easy to deal with. You could, however, simply spit out the window, or into a kleenex. Not the classiest move, but understandable.
One more thing: when discussing this subject with my pals, one guy said, “I don’t get this obsession people have with swallowing, anyway.” This led to a healthy debate, which we all came to an agreement on at the end. It was this: swallowing can be fun and sexy if you genuinely like swallowing come. It can also be hot if you like some demeaning domination-type play, wherein you are “forced” to swallow (after a discussion with your partner about the D/s games you’re both consenting to). We think this type of situation may be the root of some people’s beliefs that swallowing is always the way to go. And we end with this: as long as you’re both into it, and communicating well, go for it. If the potential swallower is not on the same page, then it’s not cool to just bust a nut in a somebody’s mouth and expect them to swallow it cause that’s what happens in porn. Be real with each other.
xoxo,
Lucy
P.S. More info on swallowing here
Hello my darlings,
The internet’s out at my house, so I haven’t written for a while. To make it up to you, I’m going to try to answer a few questions in a paragraph or less! (Instead of my usual epic rant for each question I address.) Let’s see how I do on this first ever…
SEX ADVICE RELAY
Dear Lucy,
Is it normal to queef during sex?
Uuummm, yeah. The term “queef” was first explained to me in 8th grade by a male classmate fond of talking about inappropriate things. He said it was a “vaginal fart,” and, yeah, that’s pretty much accurate. And yeah, it’s normal. Certain sex positions cause your vag to open up and allow air in. When something (like a dick) enters right after the air, it pushes the air all up in you. Then, while shifting positions, that air may come out again with a farty noise. Just laugh it off, there’s really no other option. And that is my highly un-medical explanation of queefing.
How do I let my girl know that I want a blow job without sounding like a perv?
Well, I would hope that if she is truly “your girl,” she’d be willing and happy to give you blowjobs. Nobody’s a perv because they like oral sex. I am personally of the mindset that both partners in a couple can ask for whatever they want in bed, whenever they want. Of course, the other partner may not be into it at that time, and accepting “no” for an answer will have to be an option sometimes, too. So, just ask your girl for a BJ! Of course, some compliments always smooth the road, like “Hey, baby, you look so sexy down there on your knees. And you feel so good with your mouth around your cock. You turn me on so much when you give me head…” etcetera.
I want to have sex, however I have a fear of the condom breaking because of my uncircumsized penis. Is this a stupid reason? What do women think of penis not being circumsized?
I have never heard of a condom breaking because of an uncircumsized penis. As far as I know, condoms work just as well for cocks with or without a foreskin. Unless your foreskin is equipped with spikes, you should be cool. As for what women think, I personally don’t have a preference one way or the other. Having experienced plenty of both kinds of penis, I don’t notice much of a difference during sex- it’s much more about the guy’s skills and dedication to the love making. Keep your little guy clean, that’s all we ask. If it’s funky down there, oral is way less appealing.
Alright, y’all, have a great weekend!
xoxo, Lucy
Mr. Big Stuff: You ARE Gonna Get My Love
Dear Lucy,
My current boyfriend and I have finally decided to do the nasty. But there’s a bit of a problem, he is too big (is that even possible?), and it tends to be painful when he puts it in. Is this my fault? Am I too shallow?
Hey Lucy,
I’ve been dying to get an answer for this for awhile, since it’s killing me (almost literally). I’m rather small, and my boyfriend is huge. It’s almost physically impossible for us to have sex without it hurting. Any ideas for the best positions?
I have no idea if these questions are from the same person, but if so, I apologize for not answering sooner. I‘d feel horrible if you actually died from too much cock!
Many questions I receive ask about physical issues (like best positions for certain types of sex), coupled with emotional and confidence issues. If you haven’t noticed by now, I try to tackle both of these topics equally, because I’m not just trying to encourage fun, safe, physical satisfaction, my darlings. I hope my writings will also go on to inspire a crew of sex-positive, confident, educated, fair-minded women and men who know what they want, and how to get it.
OK, I couldn’t help but grimace at the first reader’s questions: “Is this my fault? Am I too shallow?” Dear girl, how could this possibly be anyone’s fault? You and your boyfriend have human bodies that are simply built the way they’re built. If you’re new to sex (which I am kind of inferring from the way you worded your question), your vagina just doesn’t have the experience of having something shoved into it repeatedly yet. And maybe your boyf doesn’t yet know how to use his dick properly, in a way that won’t hurt you.
Your vag isn’t “too small.” His penis isn’t “too big.” Sure, your lady and man parts, respectively, may be smaller or larger than the national average, but you can still learn to use them together successfully. So get off your guilt complex and buy some nice lube, and invite your jolly giant into the bedroom for a little bit of this:
FOREPLAY. Have I stressed this enough in my life? No, I can never stress it enough. Foreplay is what is going to help your cootch get ready for that monster cock. As you may have noticed, when a man is sexually aroused, there is a very obvious physical response: his penis gets erect. A woman also has a physical response to arousal: her vagina gets more sensitive, it literally opens up more, and her natural juices flow, lubricated her vaginal canal. This doesn’t just happen for no reason- the gal’s physical changes down there are intended to pave the way for the entrance of a penis into her love canal.
You’re probably super nervous about the dicking-down your boyfriend wants to give you. We’ll assume you’re majorly into each other, and you love making out and everything, maybe you’ve even mastered a killer blow job. But you won’t be able to relax if you’re worried about the possibility of pain every time you’re about to have sexual intercourse. If you’re scared or nervous, you won’t be able to let go enough for your body to get all sexed-up and ready for dick. So that’s the first step: relllaaaaxxx.
Then, if your boy wants to ever get inside you, he better be prepared for some major cunnilingus time. When he goes down on you, it will arouse you, relax you, and add some more wetness to the area. If he brings you to an orgasm (which, if you ask me, he’d better) your vag will be even more ready for a visit from his ambassador of love.
If, for some reason, cunnilingus is not working out, masturbate for a good while, have him finger you, play with a vibrator, tweak your nips, and anything else that you know you really like. Then, when you’re good and ready (and I’m talking READY, people, like mucho foreplay. Like at least ½ hour. If not more. And not like 5 minutes.), it may be time to try a little more.
Your canal itself may still be pretty tight (especially if you are new to sex, or haven‘t had it for a while), but lube and foreplay should help loosen you up a bit. In my experience, pain from sex comes mostly from something hitting your cervix. Your cervix is located at the back of your vaginal canal, so a deep thrusting from a big dick will almost inevitably hit this sensitive part of you. So you’ll want to try positions that won’t allow his dick in that far.
Girl-on-top sex may be the way to begin. Have your man lie still, and you be the one to put his dick into you, as carefully and slowly as you want. You can control the depth and frequency of the thrusts, and get your pussy used to having that pole all up in it. I find that being on top of guy with a big dick is actually my most sensitive position, however, and I can’t always get a whole lot of cock in me without it bumping my cervix. But it’s good for the you-in-control aspect.
Still on top, try turning around into reverse-cowgirl. And then, try lying down. Like with your back against his chest, and his cock up between your legs. This position allows him to hold your body, and move you up and down on his dick, but the extra friction from your thighs can still rub the rest of the shaft that’s not in your vag. Feel free to pour lube all over your business, including your thighs.
Guy-on-top sex can put it in pretty deep, but there are still ways to do it. Traditionally, the girl spreads her legs, and the guy keeps his together. Try reversing this, keeping your legs, and thus your vag, more closed so his dick doesn’t go in as far. And don’t throw your legs up over his shoulders- that’s a clear path to cervix-bumping.
Most of all, don’t lose heart. If something doesn’t feel good, take a little break to kiss and cuddle, then pour on more lube and try something else. Get comfortable and practice, and don’t give up for good. I’m here to say: it will get better. As your bodies get used to each other, you will be able to take more and more of his penis inside you. When I was dating Will and his enormous cock, we often spent weeks or months apart. When we came back together, it was usually difficult for him to fuck me as hard as he had been before I left. So for a few days we’d have more gentle lovin, and soon enough my vag would be accommodating to him once more.
Let me know how it goes!
Xoxo, Lucy
P.S. I know the picture is startling, but why should all my pin-ups be girls? That awesome member, and the muscular man attached, are done by Tom of Finland. His art is pretty great, look him up.
Life. Love. Lust.
I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com Follow @LucyRockwell
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