I received this text message today:

“I hate you for doing this to me. We had all summer to try. I can’t live. You suck right now.”

My immediate reaction was a brief panic. Who had I spurned so badly? Then, I took a look at the phone number from which the text came. Local, yes, but not anyone in my phone book. Which means it was a wrong number. Or someone I’d deleted from my phone book, hoping to never communicate with him again, but we’ll assume that’s highly unlikely.

This mistakenly sent message got me thinking. Clearly, the sender was heartbroken. They’d been dumped or rejected by someone they had major feelings for, and the sender was deep into his/her pain phase of the break up. The phase wherein you send terrible messages like this one. What good is a message like this going to do? The hating and sucking parts: sure, fair enough. The summer part: a bit cryptic, we’ll get back to that later. The declaration that the sender doesn’t want to live: unacceptable.

In the midst of a break up, it is never fair to tell someone you want to die. Even if you really feel that way at the time, you’re not actually going to die from a broken heart. If you tell the person on the other side of your break up that you want to kill yourself, however, what are they supposed to do about it? That is a super sucky thing to put them through. To avoid confusing hypothetical pronouns, I’m going to use myself as an example…

Let’s say I was dumping a guy. And it wasn’t pretty. Feelings were hurt, things were misunderstood, he was having trouble letting go. He may, in a fit of desperation, tell me that he was so miserable about our break up that he wanted to die. I, being empathetic to a fault, would then feel worried about the guy’s welfare. I’d feel responsible if he were to (god forbid) attempt to hurt himself. I would feel obligated to pick up the phone of he called, or to respond to texts. If I didn’t respond, I’d be sitting there worrying that he might try something stupid. And there I’d be, ensnared in his net, unable to truly break free without feeling horribly guilty. And probably, perhaps without even realizing it, that’s what the guy I was attempting to dump was trying to make happen with his inconsiderate morbid whining.

I realize that got a little ranty there. You are now wondering if this has happened to me. Not exactly, but something similar did occur. And I’m clearly still a little pissed about it. The moral is: do not threaten to hurt yourself as a way to manipulate your bf/gf into staying with you. Moving on…

So: “We had all summer to try.” Being that this is the beginning of summer, this poor chap must have just gotten dumped recently. It sounds like the couple had intended to keep the relationship going through the summer, but now, no dice. I say: summer is the best time for lovin’! You’re free, man (or maybe it’s a gal who wrote it)! Have a fling! Hang out at beer gardens in the out-of-doors! Don’t moon over what was lost- you’re young! (maybe; I have no idea how old this person is) You’re beautiful! (perhaps; again, no real profile on the sender) You’re about to embark on a new frontier! (that one seems pretty certain)

Anyway, enough analyzing. I haven’t responded to this mystery text, but now I’m wondering if I should. Did the person realize their mistake and resend to the true receiver? Are they still wallowing in grief? Could I help by responding? Would it be kind of fun to respond anyway?

xoxo, Lucy

P.S. Opening up the floor on this one, readers. What do you think? Should I respond, and what should I say?

9 June 42 Permalink