Post(s) tagged with "sex advice"
Cleaning Your Vibrator
Dear Lucy,
How do I clean and sterilize a vibrator?
Great question! Nobody wants a grimy vibe coated with cat hair. This could be one of the most expensive toys you own, give it some TLC!
Cleaning a vibrator is actually as simple as cleaning real human skin: warm water and soap will suffice just fine. If your vibe is waterproof, just stick that thing in the sink and rub it down with your favorite body cleaning product, be it Tea Tree Tingle body wash, or an old-fashioned bar of Irish Spring. If you’re super paranoid about germs, you can even use some of that anti-bacterial soap (which I think smells godawful, but hey, whatevs). Be sure to rinse well, cause leftover soap residue could irritate your vag/ booty hole/ whatever-body-part the next time you use your little electronic friend.
If your favorite toy is not waterproof, you can still wash it under the tap, just make sure you don’t get any water on the electronic parts, or inside your vibe. If water does get in there, open your device, take out the batteries, and leave it in a warm, dry place to dry out for a while.
For sterilization, just zap your vibrator in the microwave for a few minutes. KIDDING! DON’T DO THAT. For real, though, boil a pot of water on the stove. Then, carefully dip your vibe in there for a minute or two, or carefully pour the boiling water over your vibe (over the sink, of course).
If you live with your ‘rents or other roomies, and you don’t have the sort of kitchen where you can just be boilin’ dildos at all hours, consider using a rubber. Roll a condom onto your faux johnson before use, and just throw it away afterwards (the condom, not the vibrator, just to be clear). This method only works if your vibe is shaped like some sort of penis, and probably wouldn’t be as effective on those little bullet vibes, or the ones shaped like butterflies, or the ones with the rabbit.
The condom method also works well if you share your vibrator with a partner: new condom every time you put that baby in a new hole, and you don’t have to keep running to the bathroom during a long session of battery-operated love making! Even if you and your lover are all tested and everything, you should still clean your vibe or switch the condom between orifices (orifi?). Various unwanted infections and stuff can come up if you’re going ass-mouth-pussy-ass-ear-mouth (or whatever combo you prefer) without proper cleaning at each of those hyphens.
After you’ve cleaned BOB (battery-operated-boyfriend. Ha!) and it’s time to go to bed, store your vibe properly. Keep it in a cool, dry, dark place. Sunlight, extreme heat, and dampness can all work against the mechanisms that keep your toy hummin’. Take the batteries out so that your vibe doesn’t get switched on accidentally and run out of juice. Wrap it in a clean t-shirt, or put it in a cloth bag, so it doesn’t get all dusty and linty. And wrap or bag each toy individually, don’t store them all in a jumble touching each other. Toys of different materials (silicone, latex, plastic, etc) can have weird reactions if they’re rubbing up against each other in your illicit shoe box or bedside drawer. (Hm. I just got this hilarious image of an Adult Toy Story where all the vibrators come alive when you’re not looking and battle for dominance of the bedroom!)
Keep your vibrator clean and it’ll keep you happy!
Xoxo, Lucy
Masturbation for the Ladies
Dear Lucy,
Do you masturbate?
I have been asked this question now many times, so I think it’s time to write an article on girls getting off. Plus, it’s an excellent opportunity to introduce you to all these fantastic new terms for female masturbation! Like Auditioning the Finger Puppets! Love that one.
So, the short answer is: YES, of course I masturbate. I’m human. Anyone who thinks that bringing one’s own self to orgasm is exclusively a man’s sport has got a lot to learn. Interestingly, I didn’t start buffin’ the muffin until fairly late in the game. At around age 15, a bunch of us girls were hanging out in gym class, and one precocious young lady asked us all if we “jacked off.” Most of my girlfriends were quick to agree that they did, and so I said the same. The truth is, at 15 I didn’t even know the vagina had two holes. I know, crazy, right?!
(And if this was, ahem, a revelation for you just now, go here: http://www.biologie.uni-hamburg.de/b-online/library/onlinebio/femalerepro_1.gif)
I went home and started spelunking with my fingers, figuring out what felt good. Soon I had it all figured out; I knew what to touch on my own body, how fast, how hard, how much. After that, I was hitchhiking to heaven whenever I damn well pleased. And after that, I started having sex, so orgasms were usually provided by my boyf for a while. Then, my freshman year of college, I was foolishly doing a long distance thing with Jeff. A dormmate took pity on me and bought me a vibrator for my birthday. It was giant and squishy and purple, and it introduced a whole new way of polishing the pearl. Ol’ Purple broke down eventually, but I’ve been in possession of a vibe ever since.
There are health benefits from masturbating for woman: yay! Many are the same benefits of jacking off for men, but jilling off has its own special perks too:
-Stress relief and help with insomnia. Playing the Clitar releases those lovely endorphins and hormones we love so much, making us feel good, relaxed, glowy.
-Prevention of infection. When a girl does a little finger-painting, her cervix “tents” and flushes out bacteria. This bacteria can lead to a cervix infection, or a dreaded UTI, and no one wants that. If you feel a UTI coming on, it may help the pain and the infection symptoms to masturbate.
-Orgasms relieve menstrual cramps. I can attest to this. On those coupla days of the month that it’s real bad, running a hot bath and playing with the little man in the boat can make the pain dissipate.
-Petting the petunia can strengthen your pelvic floor, too. Stronger pelvic muscles have a plethora of benefits, some of which include: increased vag lubrication, making your g-spot more sensitive, helpin’ out with childbirth, keeping your canal tighter. Squeezing your kegels while you touch yourself builds up pelvic strength, so do it with dedication!
-And, of course, getting to know yourself. Same as with the dudes; the more you are in tune with your own body, the better sex will be with others. Spend a night in with your pussy and get to know what YOU like and what gets you off, and then you will be able to teach it to your partners. If a lover is down between your legs, and you haven’t yet discovered if you even like the licking, humming, sucking, or what have you, you may be there all night without a release in sight.
If you don’t know where to begin with masturbation, begin here:
Get some time alone. Take yourself to a private place at a time where you won’t be interrupted. Lock the door, turn off the phone, turn some sexy tunes that make you happy. If a glass of wine or a few hits off a bowl help you relax, feel free to partake of these things first. Get into a comfy spot; the bath, your bed, the couch. Then just give yourself lots of time.
Explore your body, don’t just jump straight down to the vag. Run your fingers over your lips, neck, chest, stomach. Spend some time on your nipples (see my last article), maybe lick your fingers first to get your nips wet. When you’re good n’ ready, rub your hand over your pussy. Stroke the outside and surrounding area to titillate yourself. Then dip a couple fingers in, finding your clit and rubbing down the inner lips. A little lube, oil, or lotion can help keep things slick down there, too.
From here, it is a matter of preference. Some ladies get off on only clit stimulation, and others from vaginal penetration. Some need a combination of both. Try all sorts of different things: rubbing your clit in circles, pinching or slapping a little, rubbing back and forth really fast. Reach your fingers inside your vagina, curling them up and stroking the bumpy upper part of the vaginal wall, AKA the G-spot. If you find any place that feels particularly good, DON’T STOP. Go with that motion until it doesn’t feel the same way anymore.
Bring toys into the equation, too. Vibrators are particularly awesome, as the vibrating motion stimulates quickly and thoroughly (at least for me). There are some vibes that you can just lay or rub over your clit, and others that are dildo shaped that you can use to penetrate yourself, as well. I currently own a Corsair, made by Fun Factory. It’s got all sorts of speeds and different rhythms, which is super fun.
If you don’t achieve an orgasm on your first tiptoe through the twolips, don’t give up! Read more, experiment more, play more. There’s all sorts of people out there that really want you to make yourself come. I happen to be one of ‘em.
Xoxo, Lucy
Nips Tips
Dear Lucy,
Does a man touching nipples really have something to do with orgasms? I’ve always wondered if it was related…
Nipple stimulation is a great way to enhance a sexual experience. Nipples are an erogenous zone of the body, and there are many nerve endings in the nips. When they are played with, the sexual-excitement hormone, oxytocin, is created. So, yes, touching nipples does indeed have something to do with orgasms, at least for some folks.
Nips can get aroused and hard when they are touched, just like a dude’s cock or a girl’s clit. I find that the more stimulation, the harder they get. Some people have hard nipples all the time, whereas others need a little coaxing to come out of hiding. Inverted nipples are also fairly common; wherein the nipples point inward instead of sticking out from the chest (my left nip does this sometimes when I’m cold). During a silly game of Truth or Dare a couple years ago, I was dared to suck on a friend’s nipple. Before she pulled up her shirt, she declared that she had “innies,” but let me tell ya, they were just as sensitive as any other nipples I’ve sucked on.
Guys may not find nipple play as arousing as girls; I’ve had a few dudes tell me it just felt “weird.” Others, however, really dig it. One guy I know didn’t have very sensitive nipples, but he wanted to get more arousal from them. He got his nipples pierced, and now touching and sucking on them makes him crazy (in a good way). Plus, it looks super hot.
Some people can actually have an orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. I’ve never quite gotten there, but I’ve gotten real close. I know that if I’m on a train to orgasm town, the ride will always be speedier if my nips are involved.
So, whether you are a guy or girl or in between, if you are having a hard time having an orgasm with a partner (or yourself), consider adding nipples into the equation. Brush them gently on the outside of your clothes, touch and squeeze, suck and bite. Some people get off on rubbing ice cubes on them (Cosmo’s favorite risqué sex tip). If these methods are all old news, consider graduating on to nipple clamps (pretty awesome if you find the right ones) or those little nipple suction cups (never tried them but they look intriguing).
Doesn’t matter how big or small, all nipples deserve some love and attention.
Xoxo, Lucy
Sex Under the Influence
Dear Lucy,
You’ve made a couple of references to smoking pot in the past, so I assume you partake. What are your thoughts on combining sex with the sweet leaf? Or more generally, thoughts on sex during altered states of consciousness?
I think sex can be enhanced or stifled by substance use. This depends, of course, on whether you’re drinking, smoking, or doing other drugs, and on how much you do. Let’s start with a discussion of the kind bud.
For years I was a pothead, and I still do smoke pot on occasion. I have found that getting stoned before sex is usually pretty fun. Weed makes me feel relaxed and tingly, and horny as hell. I stop thinking about life’s worries. Headaches or hangovers or other aches and pains are dulled. I really love to crawl into bed with my partner, get stoned and do sexy stuff all day. Hotboxing the shower is a fantastic way to start a stoned-sex session, too.
Some folks get anxious and paranoid from smoking herb, however (sadly). Sex may not be enhanced by being high for these types. If you feel paranoid about some crazy shit, you will not be able to relax and get comfortable with your lover, so lay off the herb during sexy time. Stoned sex also dries a girl out, which is another con. You know how you get super thirsty when you’re baked, aka drymouth? Sure you do. Now imagine that feeling in your vag. But if that’s your only problem with stoned sex, keep a bottle of water and a bottle of lube next to the bed to keep yourself hydrated. Just don’t mix up the bottles (ew).
I find drunk sex to be another story entirely. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and may cause you to do things you’d never dream of doing sober. Sometimes this can be a good thing: you may finally talk to that guy from the mailroom or give the girl in that band your number. If it stops there, fantastic! But, in my experience, it doesn’t usually stop there. Being drunk creates drunk decisions; the more harmless of these have included things like jumping on a trampoline in my underwear. At other times, I’ve gone home with near-strangers, or taken them home with me. Or I’ve slept with good friends, resulting in a strained friendship when morning rolled around. On one occasion I am particularly not proud of, I got in bed with a friend, starting making out, and came back to consciousness some time later as he was pulling off a condom. He assured me that, although I blacked out in memory, I was awake and participatory in the sex we apparently had. Luckily this was a friend I could trust, and he used a condom, but if that had happened with a stranger I would never have forgiven myself.
So, with sex-on-alcohol, my advice is to be fucking careful. Carry condoms, drink water, tell a friend where you’re going. It’s way too easy to do stuff you’ll regret later, or get yourself into even more trouble (from unprotected sex to date rape). And for god’s sake, make sure you end up at your own home on Halloween or after a costume party. Nobody wants to walk-of-shame in a vinyl nurse dress or zombie make up.
Then there’s sex-on-drugs. I have actually only done one drug other than marijuana, and only one time, so I can’t speak with too much authority on the subject. When I was living in the middle of the woods in Washington, Will and I took some mushrooms on a beautiful fall evening. It being my first time doing any hallucinogen, I decided I needed to stay in our cabin, in the bed, under the covers the whole time, so I missed out on all the crazy outdoor exploration opportunities. But as the drug was kicking in, Will and I started fooling around. The sex got better and better as we got higher and higher, and I remember feeling crazy good as I had an orgasm. The experience was, frankly, incomparable.
I’m not sure how sex is on other drugs, but I’ve heard that coke makes it hard for a guy to get it up, ecstasy makes you want to touch everything, and acid makes everyone look like a scary monster. With all drugs and alcohol, of course, proceed with caution. But I say, if it makes sex more fun, anything is good in moderation.
xoxo, Lucy
Care to share your sex-drugs rock and rolls?
Men and Masturbation
Dear Lucy,
Can a guy ever masturbate too much? Are there any health benefits to masturbating?
I’ve praised masturbating in previous columns, but this is a subject that deserves its own special attention. Since these questions were asked by a guy, I’ll address him first, and dedicate a whole ‘nother post to female masturbation at a later date.
OK, guys. I’ve got good news and bad news regarding self-love. The bad news: if you jerk it too much, you could grow hair on the palms of your hands, go blind, or lose your mind completely. The good news: that’s all scientifically proven bullshit, and if you grew up hearing these empty warnings, promptly put them out of your mind!
The real good news: masturbation IS good for you (yesssss!).
The physiological health benefits of spanking the monkey have been shown in many real-ass research studies (which I am not going to cite here, but feel free to google ‘em if you need further proof to justify your “me time,” fellas).
-Ejaculating clears the prostate gland (if you don’t know what that is, get on it, man!), which can build resistance to prostate infection, and may even reduce the risk of getting prostate cancer.
-Cleaning out the plumbing also keeps your semen healthy, and reduces the likelihood of other infections.
-Stress relief! Beating your bishop releases endorphins, which make you happy and less stressed (bet you didn’t figure that one out yourself). Less stress make your whole body healthier and keeps your immune system going strong.
-Shaking hands with the devil right before bedtime helps you fall asleep.
Other benefits I will put in the “psychological” category, but there is crossover between the physical and mental benefits.
-Stress relief, as I mentioned above.
-Learning about your self. I’m not trying to sound like a self-help guru here, but it’s true. Saying hello to your little friend puts you in tune with your body, and helps you learn how much stimulation you need before the volcano erupts. If you practice stopping the explosion right before you come, you will have better control over yourself when you’re with a partner. That means you can last longer, and avoid premature ejaculation. And that’s good for you and your partner.
-Taking the edge off. If you’re heading out on a date, polishing your helmet beforehand keeps your head in the game, as portrayed notoriously in “Something About Mary.” Just make sure you know where your jizz ends up at the end; don’t want to start the date off with an embarrassing situation.
-Taking the edge off also helps if you are in a relationship. If your honey isn’t feelin’ up to it on some night(s), take care of yourself to give her/him a break. Then you’re satisfied and they’re off the hook; avoiding guilt, fights, weird feelings. And for the partners of men: don’t feel bad if he wants to whack off! It doesn’t mean you aren’t a great lay. Sometimes one or the other person in the relationship wants/needs more sexual release, and masturbating is a great way to take care of that.
-For those not involved in relationships or dating or banging random folks, that’s OK too! Buffing the banana is the safest way to play, with no risk of giving or receiving STI’s, and no risk of knocking your girl up. That’s not to say that you should use masturbation as an excuse to never have sex, but in times between partners it’ll do you good.
As for my reader’s first question, “Can a guy ever masturbate too much?” the answer is yes and no. If you are worried that you are going to break your dick and it’ll fall off, worry no longer. It ain’t gonna happen. The negative effects of mucho masturbation are a little more complicated than that.
First of all, if spanking the salami is getting in the way of important things in your life, it may be time to consider bringing your rubbing routine down a couple notches. What I mean by this is that masturbation should not be affecting your job or relationships with friends/family/coworkers. If because of masturbating, you are showing up late to work, calling in sick, or not getting your work done, consider a lifestyle change that allows you to work hard, and keep the playing hard for off-hours or bedtime.
The same holds true for your social scene; if you avoid going out with friends and fam in order to stay home with Johnson or Peter (or whatever his name is), put him in your pants for the night and go out and have fun with real people that aren’t attached to your body. Don’t worry, he’ll be waiting for you when you get home.
While jacking it can help control your orgasms, it can also effect your ability to have them if you do it too much in the same way. Vary the game by switching hand position, lubes, the type of porn you watch, the type of sock/glove/plastic bag/baseball mitt you are sheathing the sword in. If you get too used to a specific method of making yourself come, it could be difficult make it happen when you’re in somebody else’s hand/mouth/pussy/booty/other orifice.
Alright, that’s a lot of info. Hope it helped. And I hope you enjoyed all the euphemisms for pounding the flounder along the way.
xoxo, Lucy
Your favorite terms for masturbation, guys?
Spring has Sprung
Spring is maybe kinda here in Chicago. This is a very good thing.
The change of season really does make you feel good. New beginnings and all that. Everyone seems to be sprung on somebody (ha ha! Does anyone still use that word? I hope so, cause it was just too perfect). People are coming out of hibernation and looking for exciting adventures. It’s great.
Years ago, my buddy Rod and I griped about all the damn happy couples we kept seeing all over town once spring hit. He held my hand all the way to our destination so we would look like we were part of the warm weather love madness. I’ve had lots of other dude friends go on and on about how much they love spring cause they get to see girls’ skin again. Finally, ladies in tank tops abound, after months of being bundled up in puffy coats.
I, for one, have already gone for a long bike ride in shorts and a tank top. It was fucking delightful. Everyone’s smiling at each other. It’s truly a magnificent time to live in Chicago.
If you are wondering if people do get scientifically sexier in the springtime, the answer is yes. Lovely, new experiences like heat and light are pleasurable stimulants to your body, and thus you create more dopamine and testosterone. In my neighborhood, that means that somebody gets shivved in front of the liquor store on the corner. But for most people, these hormones make you want to get out there and exercise and be social, which ups your sex drive. So if you’re feeling super horny, take note that everyone around you is too!
Back in the day, Pagans used to go out to the fields and have literal “rolls in the hay” at spring festivals, so let’s take a clue from them and get our Spring Fling on.
Laugh it Off
Why does everybody take sex so damn seriously? The reason I like sex is because it’s fun! And what is the ultimate expression of having fun? Laughing! Yet, laughing during sex is not usually taken lightly, nor is it reciprocated.
I think this is because people get embarrassed if it is pointed out that they are in an awkward physical situation. When you’re getting down and dirty, the expression on your face is not really something you can control. During heightened moments of sexual ecstasy, you may actually look like you’re in pain, or suffocating or constipated. You’re all flushed and sweaty and your hair is sticking out every which way. There’s probably some flesh visible that isn’t normally. But most likely your partner won’t give a good goddamn if you look funny, cause he/she is concentrating on how awesome that fee— oh yeah, right there!
But if you let out a little laugh, it could act like a lightswitch being flicked on. Your lover suddenly gets self conscious- was my O face super goofy looking? Did he realize that I didn’t shave my bikini line? When you’re caught up in the moment, these things don’t matter. But laughing seems to cause insecurities to surface.
I’m here to say: get over it! I’m not laughing at you- I’m laughing with you! Ladies, you know when some sex position causes a little air to get up in your pussy, and then you move and your vag makes a fart sound? Laugh! There is seriously no other option in that situation. If you fall off the bed? Hilarious! You’re getting your toes licked for the first time? You’re damn right it fucking tickles! How can you help but to giggle?
I’ve had lovers get seriously offended when I laughed in bed. Notably, I was hooking up with a guy I seriously had the hots for, and the sex was usually really great. He’d already come, but wanted to go for it again, and he put on a second condom. His dick was a little softer the second time around, and we didn’t have lube, so he was having a bit of a hard time getting it in me. I tried to help, but he wanted to do it himself. Instead of just lying there awkwardly, waiting, my instinct was to giggle a little. When he slipped out again, I laughed again.
Sadly, he took offense to this and got really mad, growling, “Why are you laughing? This is frustrating!” He pulled off the rubber and declared that he was going to sleep. I was shocked and a little crushed by his reaction, and in retrospect I don’t know why I laughed; it just seemed appropriate for me to do. (For the record, in the morning it was all forgotten and we had great sex again.)
My best dude friend, Rod, told me a similar story. His now-girlfriend had been his crush since third grade. This one time, when they first started hooking up (as adults, of course), she was giving him a blow job. She looked up adoringly at his face (something that guys really like to see while receiving head), and Rod had a moment of feeling like the luckiest man on earth. There was this beautiful woman that he’d been into his whole life right between his legs: pure bliss! He was happy, so he laughed. Which prompted the girl to immediately stop and feel hurt, asking, “What’s so funny?”
“No, don’t stop, I’m happy, baby!”
So, to sum it up:
SEX=FUN=HAPPY=LAUGHING=OK!
(thanks to Postsecret for the photo)
Today I’m posting a fantastic guest essay from one of my favorite followers:
A former Chicagoan, Voss moved to Los Angeles recently, and she writes a great blog called “Searching for Culture in L.A.” (which is indeed a difficult task). In terms of her search for a perfect mate, she has a rather different perspective than most…
Unwinding the Biological Clock
I don’t really care to get married. I don’t really care to have children. I’m sure of these things, but because of the rigorous brainwashing of society at large I have accepted the idea that I will change my mind around thirty-two, and suddenly my uterus will be screaming about getting filled up until I get to weak to resist and just give that bitch what it wants. The biological clock argument worked pretty well on me when I was a teenager, and really kept working as long as this magical desire was still part of the hazy future. Well, I’m approaching the end of my twenties and I still don’t want any goddamn stretch-mark-making, time-sucking, little monsters to take over my identity. I was not raised in a house in the suburbs with a mom and a dad and a dog and a brother. I think I turned out okay, so why shouldn’t I be able to choose something other than a nuclear family for my own future?
I am a fan of monogamy. I just don’t think that it can really be a permanent state. At some point you will no longer get along, or, at the very least, you will stop having sex. I’m still pretty young, but it seems to me that life without sex is death in disguise. The problem with all of this is that, as a pretty, intelligent, straight woman, I am expected to want all of the things that pretty, straight, intelligent women of previous generations have demanded from sex partners. The truth is I don’t give a shit about that stuff.
The only reason I ever talk about my supposed future children is when I am imagining what I will not do to them. The longing to do better than my parents did is the only time I ever think about having kids. Well, friends, I am happy to report that I have the perfect solution to this conundrum. You see, one of the worst things that my parents bungled was the handling of their respective remarriages. They subjected me and my siblings to their obnoxious new mates without so much as a heads up. They were re-establishing themselves as free adults, a step that would never have been necessary if they hadn’t had to give up on being free adults in order to have children.
That is why I have decided that my ideal childrearing relationship would be a long term partnership with a divorced man who has children. Preferably one who shares custody with the children’s mother. This would allow me the satisfaction of doing the stepmother thing right. It could be revolutionary. I like the idea of being involved in the lives of other people’s children. Other people’s children are my favorite kind of kids.
So go ahead, have children with that dreamy man you’ve found. But when you wake up one morning and realize you hate his guts? Divorce him! Before you’re both old and wrinkled! These are the best years of your life! Get on with it!
There is nothing sexier than a man who can be relied on to do things properly; a man who can be trusted to do the grocery shopping without micromanagement; a man who will know what to do if somebody accidentally swallows something poisonous. So let that sexy man find somebody who finds him attractive, and you go on with your bad self and find somebody who thinks a lady with saggy tits and scarring on her abdomen is just the cat’s meow. If you divorce him and he ends up with me, I will make you this promise:
I will never try to replace you. I will never say bad things about you. I will never interfere with decisions that are the rightful province of you and the sexy man I will be sleeping with. I will never talk about my sexual relationship or in any way be showy with the public displays of affection when the kids are around (or at all, that shit is tacky). I will stay out of the way, but I will provide your children with something too. I will make it clear to them that if they decide that they truly hate me I am gone. I don’t need to ruin the relationship of a dad and his kids. I am not interested in that. I will be like the cool aunt. Or maybe the nerdy aunt, but any way you slice it, you wouldn’t really be upset if your kids had one more aunt, would you?
In addition to the boon of having the chance to positively impact the lives of some kids who have probably had a rough time the last few years, I think there are other bonuses to be found in this scenario. There is no rule that says that partners must live together. I would be happiest living separately but close to my partner, and I think this works well for the hotty divorcee relationship. I don’t even want to move in! I just want to occasionally hang out with your kids, but mostly we’ll hang out when they’re at your house. This means half the time your kids get the ultimate, devoted dad, while I get the time to be the free grown-up I want to be, and the other half of the time dad gets to be fulfilled in his romantic life and I get a non-clingy man friend.
And if/when we go our separate ways? No messy moving process, no home upheavals. Let’s stop the brainwashing and show kids that divorce doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Let’s show them how good life can be when their parents are truly happy and fulfilled. Let’s show them that love doesn’t have to last forever to be true. And let’s prove it to ourselves while we’re at it.
Thank you, Guestwriter Nell Voss
Snow Blowing
It will not stop snowing in Chicago. I thought it was time to share a few snow-related sex terms.
Some of these I hadn’t even heard of until now. I’ve only performed one of them (I’ll let you guess which).
Snow Fuck:
What two people do when they’re snowbound in a blizzard, and they have sex to keep warm and entertained.
Snow Ball:
When a girl or guy gives head to a guy, then comes back up and kisses him and spits the jizz back into his mouth.
Snow Plow:
When a couple is performing sex in the doggy style possition, the man yells “Snow Plow!” Then proceeds to reach forward and pull the woman’s arms out form under her. The woman then falls face first, resulting in the snow plow appearance.
Snow Cap:
The act of a male ejaculating directly onto someone’s nipple.
Life. Love. Lust.
I'm Lucy. I live in Chicago and I like to talk about sex. Give me a topic: I'm happy to answer any questions about love, sex, and relationships. Email me at LucyRockwell@gmail.com Follow @LucyRockwell
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