Masturbation for the Ladies 2: Finding the Sweet Spot

Dear Lucy,
This question is lame and embarrassing, but I dont know HOW to masturbate (I’m a female). Women have three holes I know that, but I’m not sure which one is the “masturbation” or “insert penis here” hole. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and I’ve never achieved orgasm when he fingers me because I can’t tell- he isn’t going in far enough. HELP D:

Oh dear! OK, don’t be embarrassed; I didn’t know there were multiple holes in a vagina for a good while. Yes, there are 3 holes in your genital ares. One is your urethra, one is your vagina, and one is your anus. (See diagram) The middle one, your vagina, is the “insert here” hole for sexual intercourse with a penis. The other two can be stimulated for sexual pleasure, but you can get to that later in your sexual awakening, once you’ve got the vagina figured out.

Inserting things (your fingers, your boyfriend’s fingers, a dildo/vibrator or penis-shaped object, and, eventually, a penis) into your vagina will give you sexual pleasure. This may not, however, be enough to give you an orgasm. What is really important in your own masturbation exploration is to discover your clitoris! (Again, see diagram)

This little nub, located above your urethral opening (where you pee) is loaded with nerve endings. This organ acts the same as a man’s penis- rub it, and you will be sexually stimulated. So, that’s what I suggest you do: locate your clitoris, lick your fingers to get them wet (or use some lube), and rub around on your clit. Rub in circles, up and down, side to side, hard or soft, slow or fast. Vary it up and learn what makes you feel the best. Eventually you sill start to feel hot, tingly, and sweaty perhaps. Not just Down There; you may also feel hot and tingly in your nipples, your face, or other parts of your body.

You might have a clitoral orgasm the first time you try masturbating this way, or you may not. Keep going for it, though, and guide your boyfriend’s fingers to your clit as well. You may then want to combine penetration of your vagina with clitoral stimulation. By this I mean, keep one hand playing with your clit, while pushing something in and out of your vaginal hole.

As for “going in far enough,” the first couple inches of your vaginal opening are super sensitive, so you may not even have to put something too far inside you to feel amazing. Again, try different things (speed, depth, objects) until you find your perfect combo.

For more information, check out my in-depth article on Masturbation for the Ladies, including more techniques, and why masturbation is good for your health!

Xoxo,
Lucy

29 January 31 Permalink

Pussy Smells Like Pussy.

Hey Lucy,
I have a question and it’s a bit embarrassing. What can I do to make my vagina smell good? It’s not that I don’t wash up, or shower or shave but what ever I do it just smells…well, not so nice and I hate that. I’m still a virgin (maybe because of that too) and I would like to have sex with my boyfriend but I’m too embarrassed with the smell. I really shower daily and take care of it but…I just don’t know what to do. Help!

Vaginas smell like vaginas. Smell-o-vision doesn’t exist over the internet (yet!), so I can’t really tell you if yours smells “bad.” Not that I would really want to smell your vagina, or any other stranger’s for that matter, no offense.

Seriously though, I have a feeling that your vag doesn’t actually smell any worse than any other woman’s. Vaginas don’t smell like flowers or perfume or jungle rain or cake batter. Pussy smells like pussy, and it is a smell that gets guys and pussy-lovin’ girls OFF. When you start getting more sexually active with others, you may very well find that your vagina is your boyfriend’s favorite smell! (That last comment was contributed by my boyfriend, a real live vagina-smell loving man!)

Keep things clean and you’ll be fine. DO NOT use douches, because the chemicals that could cause your pussy to smell like flowers, could also wind up irritating your skin or giving you an infection. Your vagina is supposed to smell fragrant and musky and human. Relax when you’re moving toward sexual acts that could involve your vagina being smelled. Your lovers will love your smell- it smells like you.

xoxo,
Lucy

14 January 51 Permalink